On Dalish
by Forestnymphe
Summary: What is life like among the Dalish? Have a peek before Ostagar and a Dalish warden's challenges after. Tamlen romance. Paganism. M for Mature. Critics welcome.
1. Chapter 1

((Chapter One in the travel journal of a Dalish elf. She reflects on saying goodbye and remembering what all that means. Rated M for mature adult stuff. And yeah Bioware, they own alll the DA goodness that inspire me to write this tale. Long mushy tale is long. CC is appriated and welcomed. It's been ten years.))

Travel Journal -

It's been about a week now that I have been on the road with the shemlen Duncan. He claims to have a cure for whatever this illness those demonic things so graciously gifted me with. I did not wish to leave my clan, especially so soon after … well. I would say burial but I never did find Tamlen's body. When I placed the roots of the sapling into the earth to honor his passing I placed my heart there too.

I am not sure I fully believe he is truly gone, something inside me nags that he is not truly _gone. _One thing that I know that will never leave is this overwhelming guilt. I should have dragged Tamlen's ass out of that damn cave. For him I will go fight these evil things and kill every last one of them for what they have taken from my clan and from my heart.

If it were not my duty to the Dalish I would not have left my clan. Sick or not. Yet the Keeper insisted this was the only way for me to live and it was my duty to fight these darkspawn creatures with this shemlen Duncan. It is painful to remember walking away, the look of sadness in Ashelle's eyes. Ashelle who has been a mother to me. She gave to me my mother's locket before I left to search for Tamlen. She gave to me many things that I hope to honor. Her quiet strength, her gentle dignity, and her patience. It is these qualities I will honor through my own actions. Hopefully.

"_Sahira, da'len, you are almost a woman now. It is one thing to be a fierce hunter but never forget you are a woman as well."_

Ashelle and I had been searching for herbs that day, enjoying the scents and sights of the meadow close to where we had currently camped. It was the day after a rainstorm, the green grass was still glistening with droplets the the world smelled fresh and new. Ashelle had tucked a pale blue wildflower into my hair and pulled me down to sit beside her.

"_You can be strong da'len and still be a woman of dignity and grace. Your mother was so. The embodiment of Andruil herself. Goddess of the hunt, Lady of the Moon. A balance of beauty and ferocity. I see this in you."_

I had always strove to be a good daughter to Ashelle and make her proud, for she had always been good to me. While she did not speak often of my parents, I was always enraptured by what little snippets she would share. In return I shared with her all the corners of my heart, the small triumphs and the defeats. Always with infinite gentle patience she guided me through the awkwardness of having a first crush, the pain of loosing a member of the clan to death for the first time. This was the woman who healed my skinned knees and held my hand as I confessed my feelings for Tamlen. I strove to be like her.

I pulled Ashelle into my arms and hugged her fiercely as I trembled. I thought my legs would give way beneath me as it broke my heart to leave her, to see the sadness etched so deeply in her eyes.

"_You will be in my heart Mamae, I will make you proud."_

Maren looked broken when I clasped her fingers into mine and pressed a kiss to her cheek. A second mother to me and oh so wise in the ways of beasts. It was she who encouraged my study to learn to read and write. Too few of us even take the time to learn to read and write, which has always struck me as odd seeing we live to preserve our history. I think to survive well in a world where our kind is hated we must learn all that we can. I preserve my knowledge of the herbal remedies and poisons, of what is needed to make the traps. In between those entries and the samples of herbs are my memories.

I shared this intimate knowledge with Maren, stating that someday I would pass this book gifted to me by Paivel and Temlen to my daughters. I recall the day we sat together by the halla pen, speaking of the nature of these proud and gentle beasts.

"_Come da'len. To be a hunter one needs to learn not only how to track animals but also to understand them completely. We are equal with all those in nature."_

I listened closely as I knelt before the small halla fawn, my forehead pressed to it's own. My hands cupped either side of it's pale furry head and I felt myself open to it. I listened with my heart, with my soul. I understood the silent communication as it's gaze locked to mine. I felt the simple joy of it's heart. This particular halla was also hungry, and that was not so hard to figure out as it seemed to think the laces of my leather vest were lunch.

"_I think I understand Maren. While we may hunt beasts we must also respect them as we are all equal. We must honor them."_

"_Yes da'len. Always honor them."_

Maren then pressed something soft into my hands, made of the pale shaggy strands of halla fur. A bookmark, expertly woven.

"_I will treasure it always as I treasure you. I carry you with me."_


	2. Chapter 2

I had to swallow back a large lump in my throat as I met Ilen's eyes. My mentor, this quiet man who had taught me to be a hunter. It was he who had given me my first weapons, the longbow crafted by his own hand, the sword and dagger which had been his brother's.

"_Like this da'len, draw back with your elbow, yes that's it, and hold. Hold until you feel and know the time is right to release."_

The arrow was released almost silently, swiftly seeking out it's target and finding it behind the foreleg of a small brown hare.

"_Ilen! I did it!"_

"_Yes da'len, a clean kill. Do not forget to honor the hare who has given his life for you to survive."_

I had then knelt before the bleeding hare, and whispered the prayer to honor the beast. Ilen's strong calloused hands guided my own as he taught me how to skin the beast.

"_We waste nothing that is given to us by Andruil. The beasts give us all of themselves. We will not dishonor that sacrifice."_

And so he had taught me how to cure and tan the skins, work with the sinew to make the bowstrings,


	3. Chapter 3

smoke the meat that would sustain the clan. I do not know if it is possible to document everything this man taught me. I had spent years hunting with him as he patiently taught me to walk with nary a sound through the forest, to blend within shadow, to summon the wolf or the bear to hunt alongside me. I shared a level of intimacy with this man that cannot be put into words. It was he that shared my triumphs in the hunt, that knew my joy of simply _being _at one with the forests and beasts. It was Ilen whom I told of the dreams I had, the feminine whispers that came to me in the Beyond, guiding me, shaping me.

"_Perhaps She has chosen you da'len. You honor Her well."_

"_I feel like I **know** her Ilen, in my dreams, when I hunt, I can **feel **her. In my blood, my heart. Andruil."_

"_It is time then. I had thought it would be another few years yet but it would seem our goddess of the hunt wills such now."_

I donned the ceremonial leathers and painted my face and limbs with the blood of the hare. Armed with only my bow and quiver I was to hunt alone within the embrace of the moonlit forest and return to my clan whatever bounty Aundruil would bless me with. Barefoot, I crept as I felt the thrill of the wild hunt rush through my veins, the primal heat rise within me. I was as they were, feral, fierce. I felt the eyes of the large male wolf upon me and stilled. It seems the goddess would not make my coming of age easy, no small hares or does for me. I remember placing my hands over the heart of the beast as the last of his life ebbed into the earth, feeling the strong throb, the strength and I _**understood**_.

I returned silently with the wolf's body slung over my shoulder, oblivious to the weight. Firelight flickered over the small camp and I could her the soft elven chant rise with the smattering of glowing sparks. I stood before my mentor and placed the wolf's body at his feet.

"_Our daughter has entered the forest as a girl and has returned a woman, a huntress, one honored by the Creators to provide for the clan. The spirit of the forest wolf has chosen her, may she carry it's strength, swiftness and wisdom in her blood for all time. It is this night she make take the Vallaslin upon her skin. This is a woman worthy of her clan, worthy to wear the blood writing of our people."_

It was within the privacy of the ceremonial tent I would be forever marked with the symbols of the god I had chosen. Truly though it was She who had chosen me. Something within me shifted, changed as I took the worn wooden cup etched with the symbols of the hunt.

"_Drink daughter and know. Drink and enter the presence of the Creators. Drink and embrace the way of the hunter."_

The blood of the wolf, mingled with the ceremonial wine was thick upon my tongue as I swallowed and lay back upon the pallet of furs. I shut my eyes and felt the strong hands of the other hunters who had undergone this sacred rite peel away the scant leathers from my body, leaving me bare to face the Gods. I shut my eyes and images flashed of the forest, I was running, my dark hair streaming behind me as I pursued my prey. I could taste the panic in the deer's brain, I could smell the musk of it's coat, hear it's thundering heart. Flashes of deep green and rich brown, and I leapt upon my prey, tackling it to the ground. I looked into it's frightened eyes as I murmured the reverent prayer of thanks before my teeth found it's throat. The blood was rich on my tongue and as I glanced up my green eyes surely gleaming feral and hot, I saw Her. Not a word spoken fell from her lips yet she spoke to my heart, my _spirit._ And I knew the duality of my nature. I knew She would always be with me. I would honor Her with my every breath.

I could smell the scent of flowers and herbs as they washed my body in preparation. Slowly I opened my eyes to meet those of my mentor. This man who had shaped me as surely as Ashelle did.

"_Who has chosen this huntress, whose marks shall you bear?"_

"_Andruil has chosen, it is her marks I will bear proudly."_

"_Who will stay to witness?"_

"_Tamlen."_

"_So be it."_

I will never forget the look that passed between us when I spoke his name. It was a great honor to be chosen to sit the night, to witness the transformation of not only my face and body, but my soul. There was none other I wished beside me as the slender shaft was prepared and then dipped into the black ink.

My eyes burned into his, pouring into him all my heart felt. It was now something different then the deep friendship, easy affection we had always shared. No this was something, more primal and it raged within him too, I could see it in the fire of his deep blue eyes. No longer did he look at me as merely lethallan. The hungry gaze that raked over my naked body was far from casual. The molten kiss he seared to my lips was all devouring, matching my own need for him. I shuddered upon the fur laden pallet.

It would take all night to burn into my flesh the intricate designs. Ilen took his time as I gripped Tamlen's hand, my knuckles white. The drink I had consumed did nothing for the pain I felt rhythmically drilled into my skin. And it went so much deeper. My heritage was not only burned into my flesh, it was welded into my soul. The pain was a reminder of the past, of what we elves had suffered to have our freedom. One does _**not**_ cry out in pain as one is so honored to wear the sacred markings of the goddess. The pain was a means to understand, deeply. And this intimacy I shared with the two men I loved most in this world.

It would take days for my scarred skin to heal and for me to fully digest everything that had happened to me in the course of one night. Ilen had pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled.

"_It is for you I have perhaps done my best work. Take the day to reflect and embrace this experience. Go to the pond and see yourself now."_

I stepped from the tent proudly even though my skin burned like fire, the loose white shift that gave me some semblance of modesty falling to the tops of my thighs. There my clan stood to greet me and embrace me as a hunter, a provider, a woman. I could hear the soft breaths drawn, the gasps of admiration as my clan took in the markings of my face and body.

"_Oh da'len, they are, perfect! Soon I will not be able to call you that anymore."_

"_Ilen, truly that is your best Vallaslin yet. See how the lines bring out the beauty of her cheeks, her eyes. Strong and feminine. You have captured her perfectly. Aundruil in the flesh!"_

"_Would you all please stop gushing over her and let the poor woman have a look for herself hmm?"_

I had to smile at Marethari in gratitude. I was not used to this level of attention and felt a bit awkward, not to mention sore. I felt a tug upon the hem of the shift and looked down to see one of the children there, looking up at me in awe.

"_I made something for you."_

The little girl stammered nervously as I knelt down and smiled at her. From behind her back, her small grubby hand produced a garland of simple wildflowers.

"_Thank you lethallan, it is beautiful. Would you put it on me so that all the clan can see?"_

I had to grin as the small girl gasped and gently adorned my brow with the woven crown of flowers. Tenderly I whispered into her ear.

"_Maybe someday we shall hunt together, would you like that?"_

"_Will **you** teach me to hunt? Really? Oh! Papae! Sahira said she would teach me to hunt!_

The little girl squealed as she ran to her father, hugging him about the knees.

"_Not today da'len but perhaps in time yes."_

The girl's father winked at me as I turned a grin to him. I had always been fond of her.

"_Ashelle, Tamlen, I would speak with you."_

I quirked a brow as the Keeper spoke and I glanced at Tamlen. He merely responded with a shrug. Something was up, I could tell. Ashelle was horrible at hiding her emotions and she was beaming, barely able to contain herself. Tamlen was blushing. He rarely blushed. Ah well, I would find out soon enough from one or the other.

"_I will be at the lake Tamlen to see for myself what everyone is going on about."_

I cast him a saucy wink and gave a toss to my hair as I stalked off to the quiet peace of the meadow to reflect and to see myself as they now saw me.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything around me felt alive, my fingertips brushing over wavering tall blades of grass, the softness of the earth beneath my bare feet. I rarely wore boots, despite Ashelle's constant complaining. I hunted barefoot as well. It just felt, well... _right_. Natural. But hunting was not on the agenda for today. No today was to give thanks to the goddess for deeming me worthy, making me a woman. I righted the frail garland that wound atop my head as I loosen the shoulder tie of my shift, letting it fall to the soft grass at my feet. The breeze was warm as it caressed my sore bared body. Tenatively I approached the still crystal blue pool, almost afraid to look, to see. I allowed my eyes to then finally focus upon the reflection there and I gasped. Ashelle had spoken truly, the intricate delicate lines that now marked my nose, cheeks and brow _were_ beautiful. Ilen had obviously taken great care with every detail. The dark lines that gracefully flowed over my cheekbones. The mark of the arrow upon the small slope of my nose. At my throat, more delicate fine lines. I gazed in awe as my hands now began to explore the lines of my body, where he had truly enhanced. A lot of love went into this and I smiled in delight, my fingers tracing the black etched arcs under the swell of my breasts. The trail of feminine delicate vinework that adorned my sides.

I did not even hear him behind me as I was so caught up in the beauty of this gift Ilen had given to me.

"_By the Goddess..."_

I heard his soft intake of breath and the awe in his whispered voice. I had to blush, unable to turn around, unable to speak. I had not forgotten what had passed between Tamlen and I in that tent that night. I swallowed nervously. My face felt unbelievably hot and my legs began to tremble. Leave it to me to try and ruin the moment in my awkwardness.

"_But.... I can't see the back."_

I had managed to croak out that much, my throat tight. I could not will myself to turn around. I would die here and now to look into his blue eyes. I would turn into a puddle.

"_Then I shall describe it for you. Huntress...Beautiful huntress..."_

I shut my eyes as I felt the press of his warm silken lips against my bare shoulder, and a soft moan of pleasure escaped my trembling lips. The tone of his voice was rich, laced with desire and awe. I could smell the warmth and musk of _him, the __**man**_, no longer the child I had spent my entire childhood playing with. Oh no, this was a man's touch easing the fragrant soothing balm along the side of my neck as his lips brushed a slender ear.

"_And here is the mark of beauty and of strength, the sirenbloom you so love..."_

"_And here..."_

I could barely comprehend his words as those gentle yet strong fingertips brushed over my skin, followed by the almost reverent kisses. Surely my heart would burst and leap out of my chest. All along my spine, the slope of my hips, the backs of my legs he ever so tenderly he worked the floral scented ointment upon my skin to promote healing, yet the kisses burned hotter than my abraised.

"_Tamlen..."_

I had managed to whisper his name as my entire being ached to ravage him right here and now. But I could not bring myself to stop his maddening kisses, the soft caresses, the sweet murmurs of pleasure that rose from his lips. I opened my eyes to see him reflected in the pool behind me. By the gods when did he get so … _gorgeous_. And he was here, touching _me_. Gently he turned me about by the shoulders, those deep dark blue pools gazing into my own green eyes.

"_And **this**...is **mine**."_

His fingers gripped my shoulders hard at that last word and I could swear the earth beneath my feet disappeared, for my head was swimming, my lips parting in the gasp that surely came. This was no boyhood chum that gazed at me. This was a man, claiming what he wanted, what he would have. No questions asked. And in that moment I knew that all that I was, was indeed his. My heart, my soul, my body.

And had he not been gripping me I would have surely crumpled to the grass.

I am sure my eyes were as wide as the owl's as he rendered me absolutely speechless. Not a feat easily done mind you. Tenderly he cupped one strong hand to my scorching cheek, looking deeply into my eyes as he did so. His voice was intimate, heartfelt, filled with wonder and strength.

"_And this...goddess, huntress, this I **love**....My Sahira, my **heart**...."_

It is not often I am completely dumbstruck in awe, but awed I was, utterly blown away as my heart raced, my voice surely stammering.

"_I am...**yours**...."_

I whimpered as I felt his fingers close into a fist at the back of my head, fingers tightening about the long strands of my dark brown hair. My lips crushed to his savagely as I yanked him closer, feeling the supple muscles of his chest pressed to my own. Hungrily I kissed him, tasted him deeply, sucking on his tongue as we both moaned and shook with the force of desire. The kiss then turned to something else after that initial explosion of fire, something slow, gentle and loving and the grip on my hair released as fingers explored the other's face. I thought I would weep, so full to bursting was my heart.

We memorized each other through touch, taste, speaking of our love without words. Reluctantly our lips parted and I must have given a little whimper of disapproval as I searched his eyes.

"_Shh my heart. There are things I must speak of. Come, sit."_

Easily he pulled me into his lap as he took a seat in the tall soft grass. I curled up close against him, nuzzling his neck as he gently stroked the darkness of my waist length hair.

"_Are you going to tell me what the Keeper wanted to see you and Ashelle about?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Well?"_

He laughed at the impatient quirk of my brow as I looked at him. I was anxious to know what had transpired and I knew he would tell me. Tamlen always told me everything. Even when he was not supposed to.

"_Who do you think asked me to bring you the salve?"_

"_Oh. So..."_

I swallowed nervously, something within the nervous flutter of my stomach sensed where this was going. I had moments of eloquent brilliance when I was flustered. Best to stifle it and let him talk. It certainly did not help matters that Tamlen was now chuckling at me.

"_When I spoke that you are mine, I meant more than just my love and desire for you. We are to be joined. The Keeper has arranged our match. During the next full moon."_

"_Wha...What?!"_

Tamlen just chuckled again at my obvious grace under pressure. My head was spinning with his words. I was to be his wife? Truly? There were no words. For years I had dreamed of this, and now he was mine? Forever? Surely I was dreaming and to ensure I was not, I grabbed the gorgeous hunk of an elf and kissed him deeply, murmuring declarations of love as I kissed him over and over again.

"_I'll take it you are not displeased then, my beautiful and wild love?"_

Tamlen laughed warmly at my obviously joyous reaction somewhere in between kisses and cries of happiness.

"_If you keep squirming like that and kissing me, naked in my lap, I may have to consummate this sooner than later. And the Keeper will have my hide. There is to be a feast this eve in honor of our engagement._

So overwhelmed in my happiness I had entirely forgotten that I _was _completely naked in his lap and blushed profusely. There would be time for that again, later. Indeed. Though tradition dictated we wait until we were joined, I think the both of us knew that was not going to happen. No the first time we make love and give this gift to each other, it will be in the witness of nature and not in a white tent surrounded by old chanting women with fertility potions.

I snapped back to reality as I gazed in Ilen's sad eyes. What could I possibly say to the man who had given me so much, shared so deeply my life. My fingers reached to trace the tattoos over his face as his did mine. There were no words, just the touch that spoke of everything we would always be to each other. In my mind I heard his voice speak of the "Way of Three Trees." Yes I would honor such and him in such a way every day I drew breath.


	5. Chapter 5

Merril. The sister of my heart. I squeezed her hand hard as I could now no longer hold back the dam of tears that now flowed freely down my cheeks. She who had searched with me and Feneral tirelessly for Tamlen's body. She who ultimately dragged me away from that cave kicking and hissing and screaming. The shemlen Duncan had not understood the cause of my rage but she had. Merril who had healed me many times and in countless ways. As I drew her in a close embrace and pressed my lips to her soft cheek I cherished a precious memory.

It has been the night of the feast to honor the engagement of Tamlen and myself. The aravels had been decorated in wildflowers of every hue and their vibrant colors were like candles among the flickering torchlight of the camp. The aroma of roasting venison was thick in the air as was the sound of children laughing and music. Drums beat in a heady seductive rhythm as people danced and drank of the fermented honey wine. The sweet and haunting trills of a flute floated upon the warm summer night's breeze.

And here was I the fearless huntress, terrified to come out of my tent.

"_Lethallan, come **on**! I think you have already surpassed fashionably late to your own engagement party. Must I drag you out by the hair?"_

"_But Merril.. I look ridiculous! I mean just look at this, this... **thing**."_

"_It's called a dress my sister, not a thing, and you look lovely."_

"_I am going to fall flat on my ass the minute I step outside and then Tamlen will laugh as will the whole clan and who wants to join with a clutzy huntress."_

I was whining and moaning. Dresses were not my thing. Leathers were. If I could not wear leather than I would rather be naked. It's not that I did not see the beauty in the dress Ashelle had made for me, it was just so ridiculously _long_. I had never worn anything past the knee in my life.

"_Please Merril, if I have to wear this can you fix it.... **please**?"_

"_You are such a baby Sahira. You can take an entire night of tattooing and drink wolf blood without so much as a whimper but the thought of wearing a long dress terrifies you. Very well, I will fix it."_

Merril entered the tent and chuckled as she saw my look of sheer horror. She understood me well and knew I would feel awkward in such a garment. With care, she shortened the hem to drift at my upper thighs with her dagger. Her graceful hands adjusted the top so that the filmy pale green fabric fell just off the shoulder. By the time she was done she had completely transformed the stuffy formal floor length dress into something softer and alluring. And infinitely easier to walk in. The shimmering green fabric floated atop my thighs and I felt, well, beautiful.

"_Merril, you're the best! Thank you thank you thank you!"_

"_Hold still silly I am not done yet. Hmm...hair up or down. Down I think. Yes. You would only pull the combs out anyway if I pinned your hair up and besides, I think he likes you better with your hair _

_ down."_

Merril took a wooden comb from her pocket and brushed my hair until it rippled and gleamed a deep rich mahogany brown. She then produced a small vial of scented oil, crafted by her own hand and began to dab droplets of it behind my ears, my knees, sweeping it just below my neck. It was the essence of the sirenbloom, my favorite flower. Delicate and subtle, it's note feminine but not sugary sweet.

"_Perfection. Ten arrowheads Tamlen faints when he sees you."_

"_Umm, about that. Um, Merril?"_

I had to swallow hard to rid myself of the growing lump in the back of my throat. How to ask for this. Not that I was so sure that Tamlen and I _would _actually do **it **_tonight, _but it was not terribly uncommon after these sorts of celebrations for the happy couple to venture off to celebrate on their own. Sex before joining was not all that uncommon either and while the elders certainly preferred that the couple wait, they were also wise enough to know that nature waited on no such ceremony.

"_What is it __**now**__ lethallan, we have to __**go**__!_

"_Do you happen to have any of um, that, you **know** that... **root**."_

There, I had said it, well sort of. And as I sat twisting my hands in my lap feeling a hundred shades of awkward, Merril just laughed.

"_Of course silly, check your pocket. I don't think there is a single person in this camp that thinks either of you are going to wait for the rising of the next moon for you to bond. Just be sure to eat it discreetly, oh and eat something sweet afterwards. Else your breath will stink worse than a bear's!"_

"_You always have my back Merril, you are the absolute best sister a girl could have. Even if we are not blood."_

Exasperated beyond patience, Merril just gripped me by the wrist and yanked hard, sending me staggering for balance as I stumbled out of the tent.

I had to laugh as I straightened up, giving a casual toss to my hair as I joined in on the feasting and revels going on full swing all about me. All the whining and hairbrushing and nervous stomach flutters was worth it when I saw his smile. The radiant light that positively glowed within the depths of his blue eyes took my breath away. Any residual nervousness melted like snow in the sun, his smile was so warm. I hoped every day he looked at me in such a way. I would bask in that smile every day I was so blessed to be his.

"_Lucky bastard." _

"_Tell me about it. Who woulda thought that miss perpetually skinned knees here would turn into this gorgeous goddess."_

"_I did."_

Came his steady reply as I approached Tamlen and his two friends sitting beside him. I could not but help feel proud and beautiful and so very lucky to be his. Always.

I grinned as I slid beside him on the long wooden log, pressing a feather soft kiss to his lips. By the Gods he looked gorgeous and I was sure I looked incredibly stupid, gawking at him as I did. Gone was the usual long braid that held back his pale golden hair. It now waved like spun sunlit silk to the top of his ribs and I found my fingers unable to keep from touching the softness of it. Oh and he smelled _good_! Not the usual sweaty, bloody, just got back from killing a deer smell. Oh no, he smelled of leather and woodsmoke and a hint of spice and that undefinable exotic _male_ scent that was _him_ that left me both breathless and intoxicated.

I felt a cup of honey wine pushed into my hand as I continued to ravage my soon to be husband with my restless gaze. I heard the grumbles of his companions just barely, as they rose to give us privacy, for just now the world had stood still to gift me with this _vision_ that in four weeks would be my _husband_. I wanted to memorize every detail, every nuance, burn it into my brain how he looked on this perfect night.

The simple woven linen shirt he wore was a deep midnight blue to match the color of his dark sapphire eyes. Cut low at the neck. And howhis beautiful eyes shone as I looked at him, trailing a slender fingertip over the soft stubble of his chin. I had to grin. He had kept that for me. He knew I adored that glinting golden bit of facial hair that made him look all the more rugged. I noted his boots were new as my gaze drifted lower, intricately tooled with Dalish patterns the boots were. I inhaled softly to drink in the rich scent. Softly tanned leather breeches embraced his strong thighs as snugly as a fist within a glove. The black dye of the buttery soft leather complimented his golden hair, the deep blue of his shirt. I was sure my mouth must have been hanging wide open, for he laughed and pressed another kiss to my lips.

"_You are **so** beautiful my love. Later I will show you just **how** much I think so."_

Softly he whispered so that no other would hear. It was then I remembered the cup of wine in my hand and pulled it to my lips for a deep swallow. Speech was again beyond me. I was sure he would tease me for _years_ at how he had managed to render me so not just once, but multiple times throughout the course of a single day.

"_Tamlen, I... I.. You... are just so very...pinch me or something before I swoon right here and now and make a scene."_

But he didn't. He just laughed and I did note a bit of a blush to his cheeks. The wine seemed to be working, improving my powers of speech and we sat together conversing, laughing with those of our clan, our family.

"_Oh but are they not perfect together? Do you see how he gazes at her as if she is the moon, she at him, as if he was her sun."_

"_Yes yes. I think we have all known it was just a matter of time. Would have been silly to pair them off with others. The Keeper made a wise choice with that match she did."_

"_About time, I say. Those two have loved each other since they were crawling around the averals yanking at each other's hair. Now how soon do you think before I get to call myself a grandmother? Hmm?"_

Such conversations rose and fell around us, and yet I was oblivious to everything but him. I stole loving glances, admiring the line of his jaw, the tiny crinkles that set at the corners of his blue eyes when he laughed. Oh I was going to thoroughly enjoy getting to know every minute and intimate detail of this man I loved beyond reason itself. And he was _mine_.

The evening was beginning to wind down as couples grasped hands, casting knowing winks our way. I sat with the little girl Evella held firmly in my lap, the same little one who had given me the garland after I had completed the hunter's coming of age rite. I looked upon her innocent face with tender fondness, wondering if I would have a little girl like this. I certainly hoped so. A daughter with Tamlen's beautiful golden hair and my forest green eyes. If the goddess were to bless me with such I would also require a chastity belt. Well Tamlen could provide that too. He was after all a master leatherworker. The child was snoring soundly, snuggled with her chubby arms wrapped about my waist as her father approached with a warm smile.

"_Ah there she is, I should have known she would be with you, my dear. Congratulations to you both. Should you need anything for the joining ceremony, you need only ask."_

"_Ah hello Rhayader, and yes about that. Nothing would please me more than to have Evella assist me when the moon rises next. I wish for her to join those that precede me in the ceremony and stand by me when I promise my life to Tamlen's."_

"_You honor me da'len. And I am sure she will be thrilled. Just promise me you will not be thrusting a bow into her hand until she is at least six."_

"_At least six, Sir. And thank you. May the Creators bless your dreams this night."_

"_And you and yours da'len."_

Evella was gently coaxed from the warmth of her lap, murmuring softly about something she had been dreaming about, something about a rabbit, pink fur and a ribbon. Tenderly her father cradled his little girl to his chest, carrying her away to their araval to dream.

"_It's so sad her mother died, Tamlen. Perhaps someday Rhayader will join and bond again with another."_

"_Perhaps my heart. I see how he looks at your Ashelle, and she is the most gentle of women, so caring. And still very lovely for her age. Not to mention she has already raised one perfect daughter."_

"_Do you think we will have a daughter like her? A beautiful girl with golden locks and deep green eyes? Maybe a boy too, with your rugged good looks and skill with the bow and sword?"_

"_I would be content with either my love. Or both, as the goddess wills."_

His lips brushed against mine softly as we spoke of children, and suddenly I was reminded of the root within the confines of my pocket. I had completely forgotten about it. Deathroot, dipped in a concoction of forestbloom and ironbark, it made for a aphrodisiac as well as solid birth control. One need only take a nibble of the stuff. It has been whispered among women as long as elves had been alive that it eased the initial pain of a first bonding, heightened the senses and prevented early pregnancy. Not that she didn't _want_ to get pregnant, she did. Just not _tonight_. No tonight she wanted him all to herself without the fear of carrying a child. There would be time for children after their joining.

"_I will be right back Tamlen. Don't move a muscle."_

"_Of course, my heart. Hurry back."_

She all but sprinted to where the venison had been roasting and pulled the thick root from her pocket. Gah! It smelled as bad as it looked. Probably tasted worse. Best to swallow it down with a bit of the meat, yes! Was that him chuckling? Did he know what she was doing? Oh blast it all! She rolled her green eyed gaze skyward thinking her goddess indeed has a very sick sense of humor before withdrawing her dagger and cutting off a bit of meat from the spit.

Juices dripped, sizzling to the winking embers of the coals below the roast. Shoving the portion of juicy venison into her mouth and then taking a good bite of the root, Sahira gagged wretchedly. Merril was not kidding! This was bear's breath and swamp muck and a halla's rear end all rolled into one. Tears stung her eyes as she swallowed and looked desperately around for something sweet.

Wine. Must have... wine. Ah, there it is! Reaching for a forgotten clay jug, the now mortified elf chugged the sweet contents, relieving her mouth of the assault of the bitter herb. Wiping her lips with the back of her hand, she smiled in triumph as she paced back across the camp to Tamlen.

"_That good huh?"_

"_Be thankful it is not you that has to ingest this vile foul stuff. Gods mercy what did they coat this thing with?"_

"_And soon you will not have to my wife. Soon we shall have the laughter of children at our fire."_

"_Does my breath smell bad?"_

She took his answer as a definite no, for again, his lips were upon hers, an urgency in his kiss, that same hunger and need and yes, _want_ she had experienced with him in the hunter's tent and in the meadow. Easily he lifted her lithe body into his arms as her slender arms encircled his neck. The taste of the root was completely forgotten as he carried her off beyond the circle of wavering firelight that was the camp. The quiet night songs of the forest rose around them as the warrior carried his beloved prize into the lush darkness of the meadow. Casting a gaze to the waning moon above, she could have sworn she saw the Lady smile there in a glimmer of pale light.

What was all this? The pond, it was illuminated, dozens of tiny candles drifted and floated upon the deep mirror like surface. Yet nothing else had been done to mar the natural wild beauty of the meadow at night. Flickers of golden light mingled with the stars and moon's own ethereal glow. Gently, he laid me down upon the soft cool grass, easing his strong fingers through my hair.

"_Merril insisted as did Fenarel."_

Tamlen nodded towards the pool of water and golden light that shimmered there.

"_It is, beautiful Tamlen."_

"_I wanted it to be perfect … for you...I..."_

"_Shh... I understand, and I love you so very much. Nothing could be more perfect."_

He must have approached their friends about this, the candles drifting over the pond, that was pure Merril, the soft woolen blanket clearly woven by Maren, the wine, the small fire that snapped and crackled by them, that was Fenarel.

"_Sahira...."_

The wine went completely forgotten as they wrapped arms about each other, utterly lost within the gaze of the other's eyes. Gentle kisses grew more bold, hungry, tongues teasing, tasting, exploring as heat rose between their entwined bodies. Somewhere in the depths of the forest a wolf howled mournfully and somewhere closer, the thick flap of an owl's wings cut through the other quiet sounds of the moonlit night.

He was infinitely gentle, his lips pressing kisses all over my cheeks and forehead as his fingers eased the filmy green fabric from my shoulders. Slowly he exposed each inch of tanned skin to the kiss of moonlight as my own fingers reached to loosen the drawstrings of his midnight blue shirt. We worshiped each other that night. Each of us drawing a soft breath at the sight of the other. He was glorious in the light of candles and firelight, and I could see within his beautiful blue eyes, I pleased him as much as my breasts were bared to him.

I cannot recall the exact details of how and when all our clothing ended up cast off and perhaps it does not matter, for I was explicitly happy, naked in his arms, drowning in his loving gaze, feeling the caress of his strong hand against my cheek. I had never ached for anything more in my life than to have him completely. Within me. I ached to be as close as possible to this man I had fully given my being to. My Tamlen.

Fingers and lips explored with gentle touches and kisses, licking, tasting and learning one another. We feasted on one another, learning each others pleasure, memorizing it and then taking it to a whole new height. We gazed upon each other in utter wonder and delight, savoring each touch, each thrill, each cry of pleasure sheer music to the others ears. And when neither of us could stand it any longer, he drew himself over me, one hand cupping the side of my flushed face, the other holding him poised betweenmy spread thighs.

"_I will love you for all time my heart, my huntress, my goddess, my Sahira..."_

_Tamlen, my warrior, my hunter, my soul. I am yours forever and I shall love you even longer."_

Within the stillness of the forest a hawk screamed as I felt his weight sink atop me and his insistent hard push to break the barrier I had reserved for him alone. There was no pain, perhaps due to the herb, or the fact he had me so thoroughly worked up I could not notice. All I could do was kiss him deeply, caress his handsome face as his golden hair fell to brush my shoulders. All I felt was sheer joy and pleasure as he slowly filled me with his thrusts, his sighs of pleasure flooding my heart. My tanned long legs wrapped about his hips, my fingers dragged down his back in a tender caress. Yes it would always be like this between us. Deep. Fulfilling. Intimate. Loving. His fingertips traced the markings at my right cheekbone as he shifted his weight and thrust deeper, yielding a shudder of pleasure from me.

I felt myself grow wet, hot, wanting to give him everything and my green eyes glanced into his blue ones as I gasped and writhed. We clung to each other as we both called out to the Creators that night, my body shaking in tremors as wave after wave of crashing pleasure overtook me. I felt his hot spasms release inside and we both had tears in our eyes as we rode the crux of this incredible maelstrom.

Oh yes. It would always be like this between us. I lay gasping in his arms as he held me like the most precious thing in the world. My dark hair clung wetly down my back as I curled close within the circle of his strong arms. After a time my heartbeat really did return to something that could be considered normal. My powers of speech returned if only a soft intimate whisper.

We spent that night drinking wine and enjoying each other as we would. We laughed about the feast and casually drank upon each other's lips as it pleased us. We spoke again of the children we would have and conspired to set Merril and Fenarel up. We made love many times that night, sometimes with the ferocity of the savage hunters we were, and other times with the tenderness and care of all we felt in our hearts. We now had a lifetime to explore each and every hidden path to rejoice in the discovery of something new and untasted.


	6. Chapter 6

On Dalish Chapter 6

_((A/N – Thanks to all of you who have sent your words of encouragement and to those of you who have subscribed. This will indeed be a long piece as my Dalish muse chatters at me constantly to tell her story. As always Bioware owns all that is DA goodness. And I take liberties to fill in the blanks of Dalish life. CC and reviews are always welcomed.))_

I felt his large hand grip my shoulder as I sobbed brokenly in Merril's arms. His presence had always been calming. This gentle wise man who had spent years patiently teaching me our lore. Paivel had been the one to teach me how to read and write. It had been he who had gifted me with this very journal. I turned to him and hugged him tight, bawling against his chest as he soothingly stroked my hair. I went back to time years before as I looked teary eyed into his pale blue eyes, the memory etched deeply upon my heart.

"_Now who can tell me what Sylaise gave to us?"_

We were all gathered in a semi-circle around Paivel, grubby gangly children each seeking the elder's approval. I could not have been more than five years old. I was settled between Tamlen and Merril, eagerly bouncing on my heels for I knew the answer. It was Tamlen who answered first.

"_Um, it was, the halla right?"_

Paivel chuckled warmly and shook his head. Why such a bright boy always forget this particular tale baffled the elder elf.

"_No dummy. Sylaise gave to us the **fire**, and taught us how to heal with the herbs. And we sprinkle the tree moss over the aravels to **thank** her. And she is sister to Andruil. While Andruil hunts, Sylaise tends the hearth."_

"_I am **not** a dummy!"_

"_Are too!"_

Just as Paivel was to speak that I had indeed given the correct answer, I had found myself tackled to the ground, my long hair being mercilessly yanked.

"_Take it back!"_

"_Never! You are a dummy. A dumb boy who stinks like a halla's rear end!"_

That had earned me another vicious yank and I snarled, thrashing my head to get free of his hands. Somehow I had managed to scramble atop Tamlen, pinning his shoulders with my knees as I held his wrists tight above his head. I grinned down at him in triumph. Tamlen was not one so easily defeated and while he may not have been the most lore smart, he did manage to do the one thing that would send me careening off him in a mad hurry. He licked my nose.

_Ewww! Gross! Gah!_

I am sure I screeched more shrilly than a wet owl as I desperately wiped my nose. Tamlen merely smirked at me. He was _so_ dead. I was _so_ going to put something _fun_ in his sleeping furs. Maybe some poison oak would make him reconsider ever licking my nose again. I glowered at him, scowling.

"_Children! Enough! Is Merril the only one who ever actually listens? By the gods you two, be off, you have tried my patience enough for one day!"_

Paivel muttered quietly, waving his hands in a shooing gesture. I grasped Merril's hand tight and shot another look at Tamlen, sticking out my tongue.

"_Dummy."_

And before he could pummel me I pulled Merril with me as I raced off laughing into the woods which surrounded our current camp.

Flash forward to my sixteenth birthday. I was sitting at Paivel's fire as I often did, fletching arrows and hoping for a story. Paivel always had the best stories and I especially loved the ones he told of Andruil.

I smiled warmly to him as he shuffled out of his aravel and noted he was carrying some sort of leather book. He must of noticed my quizzical expression for he chuckled softly as he came to sit beside me.

"_This is for you da'len, for you to keep your memories in and all you have learned. I am proud of you."_

"_Paivel, it is wonderful, thank you. But how, where did you ever.."_

"_I got the vellum from the shemlen we last traded with da'len. The leather, well I had some help with that."_

"_It's beautiful, I shall treasure it always."_

I could not stop smiling as my fingertips eased over the embossed leather cover. Expertly tooled upon the cover was a scene of the forest, the full moon rising behind the trees. I was awed at the obvious amount of care that went into the making of this. I would pour my secrets into this book and all that I had learned. I would save various keepsakes so that I could look upon them later and savor cherished memories.

"_Do you like it?"_

I had not heard Tamlen's approach, I was still stroking my hands over the soft leather. I smiled at him as he sat beside me, eager to show him this special gift.

"_Oh yes! It is the most wonderful gift in the world! I shall write in it every day! And look, aren't the trees just **perfect** and the moon..."_

It was his strong hand covering mine that stopped my incessant babbling. I heard Paivel chuckle behind us and his retreating footfalls. I think I blinked a few times for I certainly did not know what to possibly _say_. Tamlen and I had grown up together, best friends since, well _forever._ We held hands all the time but now, it felt, well _different_. My hand had never tingled before and I certainly had never _blushed_. I was doing so now profusely. Probably twenty five shades of crimson.

"_I wanted it to be.. ummm.. perfect. Yeah."_

Did he just stammer? I was hearing things, and yet he was there sitting by my side, obviously feeling as awkward as I was. We just started at each other for a very long moment. Somehow I managed to swallow hard and whisper softly to him.

"_You mean, you made this... for me? Oh my..."_

His strong fingers entwined with my own, and they were warm and gentle. I decided I really, really _liked _how this felt. He was looking at me so tenderly, there was something in those blue eyes I had not seen before. It made my heart race and I think I fell in love with him in that exact moment. He drew closer as I sat there completely mesmerized. His hand was cupping my cheek and I remembered how to breathe just for a split second before the world melted away. His lips were soft and warm upon my own, moving gently, his hand now cupping the back of my head as I slid my arms around him. Oh I think I liked this just fine, he was so _warm_ and felt so _good_. Slowly, our lips parted and we smiled at one another, both of us blushing now. I slid upon his lap as he held me close and I caressed his cheek, gazing deeply into those dark blue eyes. I smiled again at him before I whispered softly.

"_Yes, absolutely...perfect."_

"_I...I made something else for you too. You'll probably think it's really dumb. Just..don't laugh. Okay?"_

I had to blink a few times. Was this man who had just kissed me so tenderly now stammering again? Saying something about something being dumb? I could not possibly imagine how he could top the gift of the journal, not to mention that kiss. What could he be so nervous about ?

"_Of course I won't laugh. I can't promise I won't kiss you again though. What is it Tamlen?"_

Tamlen reached his fingers into the front pocket of his vest to withdraw a simple but beautifully woven strip of leather. Two hues of soft suede, one almost gold, the other a rich earthy brown had been worked and woven to create what was a simple anklet. He held it in his now shaking fingers and shifted me off his lap so that he sit before me. All I could do was smile, the anklet was very lovely in it's simple way.

"_I am probably not even suppose to say this. Or do this. But if I don't it's gonna drive me insane. I know we are too young to be matched yet and maybe I am stupid for even speaking right now. But I can't stand the thought of you being promised to another and well.. would you wear this, for **me**?_

Tamlen had a talent for taking my breath away, multiple times in one evening. I was stunned silly at his words. My astonished gaze moved to the anklet and I finally understood the symbolism of the colors he had chosen to weave together. Tamlen wished for me to wear his anklet so the others would see, so the other young men in the clan would see that I was not available to them. The Gathering of the Clans was just around the corner too. Wow. Just, wow. And the Keeper would see too. And if she saw that something was already between us, then maybe she would....

Oh by the gods I was going to faint. But the gods were not that merciful. And I could not leave him hanging there, stammering away forever. In his own awkward way he was telling me he _loved_ me. He did not wish any other to have me. I relished this. I let him off the hook as I slowly extended my left leg towards him, grinning at him.

"_Well, are you going to put that on my ankle or not?"_

"_Oh by the gods....did you just say yes?"_

I had to bite back a chuckle as he looked near to fainting away now. Seems the gods this night had no mercy for him either. Swiftly he placed the thin woven leather about my ankle, and surely it was not necessary for him to knot it _that _many times. I had no intention of _**ever**_ taking it off. As he released my ankle I think my heart melted a bit more. I closed the distance between us and pulled him into my arms, taking the initiative this time to place a very long and deep kiss to his lips.

"_You owe me a new quiver Fenarel. Told ya he would do it and she would say yes."_

"_Damn."_

I think both of us were equal shades of flushed crimson as we spun about to hear voices behind us, and there was half the clan, standing there, watching us. Ashelle was beaming as she turned to whisper something to Ilen. Paivel simply laughed and sent a grin to Tamlen. The Keeper however, smiled in her wise and gentle way, saying nothing but stroking her chin quite thoughtfully. I think the two of us had about as much embarrassment as we could stand, and so I learned to whisper conspiratorially into Tamlen's ear.

"_Last one to the pond is a halla's wet arse! And by the way, I love you too."_

I sprinted off with a laugh before he could tackle me, grinning all the way to the forest meadow. Tamlen still pulled my hair at times and pushed me into mud. I still wrestled with him and pinned him down. He never did lick my nose again and I never again called him dummy. While we were still best friends it was now something _more_. It was _better _because now I could tackle him and _kiss_ him.

I think Paivel knew what I was thinking of as I looked into his eyes so sadly. I took his wrinkled and calloused hands in mine, locking my soulful gaze upon his light blue eyes. I needed him to know I would carry him with me and honor all he had taught me. Softly I whispered the Oath.

"_We are the Dalish: keepers of the lost lore, walkers of the lonely path. We are the last of the Elvhenan, and never again shall we submit."_


	7. Chapter 7

_((A/N. As always Bioware owns all DA goodness. I take responsibility for adding color to where I found the Dalish a bit too grey. I shortened the time between Gatherings. Ten years seemed a bit too long. As always I am grateful for the continued encouragement to write this. Please feel free to review and offer your constructive criticism. It's all well appreciated. The pale pink wildflower Sahira wears in her hair is for my mother. Happy Mothers Day Mom! And thanks for reading this regardless of not understanding a single word of the Dalish language.))_

Chapter 7

Junar was the closest thing I ever had to a big brother. I had always admired and respected him. I shook like a rattled gourd as he pulled me into his arms to say goodbye. How to say goodbye to the one who was your shoulder to cry on, the one who always went with you to hunt, the one who made you laugh. Junar had taught me everything he knew about the bow. Now he was giving me his. I recalled another time he had done this, the memory flooding my mind as tears welled, hot and stinging, in my red rimmed and swollen eyes.

The time of the Gathering had finally come and I was sitting with Junar, speaking animatedly about who I thought would win what events. He was of course adamant that he would win at the dagger throwing competition. I was not so sure as he was far more skilled with the bow.

"_Why are you not entering the archery contest Junar? You know you could win it with one arm tied behind your back, pulling the bowstring with your teeth."_

"_I won last time. This Gathering I would see someone else enter for our clan. You."_

"_What?! Have you been getting into the ceremonial wine again? There is **no** way I could win that!"_

I looked at him as if he had lost his mind, which he may well have. He just laughed at me, giving me a playful shove to the shoulder. As I stumbled a few steps back I continued to gawk at him as if he had grown three heads. Me, win the contest against some the the most skilled hunters of the clans.? Yes Junar had definitely gotten into the wine. I was a pretty good shot granted but no way was I _that_ good.

"_You won't even place unless you practice lethallan. So stop staring at me like I have grown fangs and let's go."_

"_Very well."_

I did not understand why he wished for me to embarrass myself in front of all the clans, but if me practicing with him made him happy, I would not deny him. We strode off to the forest together, my longbow and quiver over my shoulder. Junar carried a quiver with extra arrows. A lot of extra arrows. This was going to be a _long_ afternoon. Junar was a patient teacher but he demanded perfection. He would not let me stop until each shot he called for was perfectly executed. My fingers ached and I was sure my right arm was going to fall off.

"_Again. Pinning shot followed by a crippling shot. I want to hear those arrows **sing** lethallan. You are not following through quickly enough. Stop drooping your elbow. Now take your stance, that's it, aim, hold... hold...Now!"_

The arrows _did_ sing as I released them one after the other, hearing them swiftly race towards their target, hitting it with a solid "thunk, thunk." I grinned over to Junar, my green eyes shining with pride. I felt a bit more confident now than I had when we had started. The smile of warmth he offered to me boosted my ego a bit more. I bounded over to him to wrap him up in a huge hug, all but squealing in delight. He laughed in his deep baritone voice and ruffled the hair atop my head.

"_Come now Sahira. Best get back to camp before you know **who** get's jealous. And we wouldn't want **that**, oh **no**....Wouldn't want **lover** boy to stop **kissing** you in front of the **entire** clan..."_

"_Oh you are SO dead!"_

He laughed again, making very loud and lewd kissing noises as he teased me and I flushed bright red. My green eyes narrowed, flashing with indignation. He was already halfway down the trail before I started to sprint after him, determined to well, do _something_. Evil. The beating up part and throttling was a given. Junar would _never_ let me live that night down.

The interesting part about it all is that he did not disapprove. In the past when one of the boys would hit on me, or say something remotely sexual about me Junar was the first to grab said offender by the shirt and make perfectly clear that such was not going to happen. Ever. With Tamlen he merely crooked his finger at him the morning after we were observed by the entire clan, kissing, and asked to have a private chat. When Tamlen returned with no obvious broken bones or visible bruising I had no wonder. In fact when they had returned they were laughing together, Junar clasping his shoulder.

Men. They were very very strange. One still needed a proper thrashing.

We had practiced every afternoon for the three days we had before arriving at the site of the Gathering. Wow. I had to wonder if Ashelle had been on the committee this year because the spot chosen was breathtakingly beautiful. The lush meadow where we would park the aravels was teeming with fragrant wildflowers of every hue. I squeezed Tamlen's hand as I grinned, my gaze drinking it all in, the natural beauty surrounding us. He winked at me, reaching to pluck a pale pink blossom, tucking it behind my ear.

"_Come Tamlen! Let's explore! Besides I want to get a good spot for my sleeping furs."_

"_Are you not staying near Ashelle's aravel?"_

"_No she said I could have my freedom this year, provided Junar stays near."_

"_Perhaps I should too, you know, just in case."_

"_In case what? Wild boars come charging out of the forest? Magical bedbugs come to nip at me in the night?_

I _so_ adored teasing him and I grinned as I actually made him blush a bit. The scarlet now flaming on his high cheekbones brought out the blue of his eyes. Goddess he was handsome. How I had failed to notice this for fourteen years, well it was mind boggling to me now. At sixteen I now found him stunning. I would _never _stop teasing him. Ever.

"_By the gods, I swear you have to be the most exasperating, most frustrating woman!"_

"_Tamlen...."_

He rolled his eyes at me before releasing a deep sigh. His strong slender fingers reached to right the frail pink blossom he had tucked within my long dark hair. I grinned wickedly at him.

"_What Sahira, have you not tortured me enough for one day?"_

"_Well it might get terribly cold at night. And you **know** how much I **hate** being cold."_

"_You are a wicked thing, you know that? A wicked thing that should really learn how to wear proper boots."_

"_Unless it's snowing, that's not likely to happen. You know you are pretty cute when you blush and the tips of your ears turn red."_

I had managed to brush a soft kiss to his lips before bolting off in a fit of laughter. He chased me in pursuit as my long legs carried me through the field of tall green grasses dotted with vibrant color. My sides ached with my laughter and the exertion of the run. We had found ourselves within a grove of trees, the branches dipping low beneath the weight of the ivory flowers that bloomed upon them. I could hear the sound of water not far behind me, bubbling over rock. There must be a small stream nearby. How perfect.

"_What do you think of this spot Tamlen? Far enough away from the elders that a sip of honey wine won't be noticed and close enough to the stream for a cool bath. And it's pretty."_

"_You know what else is pretty, my wily lethallan?"_

I was shrugging my pack from my shoulders and working loose the knots of the leather ties that held my sleeping furs tightly rolled and secured to my backpack. I smoothed the wrinkles from the thick furs with coaxing pushes of my hands as I laid them out over the soft grass and cast a curious glance to him.

"_Hmm?"_

The very last thing I expected was to be yanked by the hips and bumping chests with this very tall and handsome elf who looked at me with ferocious command. Oh my. There was a definite heat rising between out bodies and I was sure my jaw was hanging open. I blinked at him, multiple times willing myself to breathe. Breathing was good. I just could not achieve it at the moment.

"_You are pretty. Very pretty."_

"_Um..."_

"_You are even prettier when you blush. Makes your eyes all the more green."_

It was his turn to chuckle at me as I felt the scalding blush flame my face, my ears, surely my bare toes as well and every part in between. He grinned at me evilly still clutching the graceful slope of my hips. Those dark blue eyes glinted mercilessly as they bore into mine. One hand released from my right hip to give my leather clad bottom a solid smack as he laughed.

"_Gotcha!"_

"_Men! The entire lot of you are insufferable!"_

"_Heh, **so** worth it. Just for the blush. Rendering you speechless , well **that **my love, is truly priceless."_

"_Tamlen! By the gods, I am **so** going to get you back!"_

I growled at him, or tried to without laughing, which proved to be a lost cause. We set up what would be our camp, digging the small fire pit and surrounding it with stones. I gathered kindling and tinder as Tamlen ventured off into the surrounding woods to procure proper firewood. The great thing about the Gatherings was the food. The Gatherings were as much about socializing as they were about sharing lore and trading. Each aravel and fire would have all kinds of good food and I wondered what I should prepare should anyone come over to chit chat. It would be considered terribly rude not to have something to share and eat. We sustained each other and helped each other to live free, regardless of clan.

We had managed to hunt down a few hares on our way here, I supposed such would do for a stew. I had begun to fill a small pot with water from the skins we always carried and glanced up to hear familiar footfalls and laughter.

"_Junar, Merrill! Aneth ara! Please come join us."_

"_Greetings my sister, is that stew I see heating? Here I have some wild carrots and onions, let me help."_

"_Ma serannas, Merrill. You have always been more skilled at the hearth duties."_

"_You flatter me lethallan. Here let me help, go greet your brother."_

I grinned at Junar as I noted his pack looked a bit heavier than usual. Oh he was good. I knew what lay beneath the lumps in the leather strapped to his back. This would be a fun Gathering indeed.

"_Junar, you and Merrill will be staying here with us yes? I can't imagine **you **wish to stay so terribly close to the Keepers."_

"_And why would that be Sahira?"_

I grinned at Tamlen as he returned with an armload of freshly chopped firewood. Perspiration still glistened over his tanned brow as his vest clung to the supple muscles of his chest. I was half tempted to ask for more firewood. His usual tight braid had fallen loose, allowing long strands of golden flax to frame his face.

"_Oh by Fen'harel's furry balls, Tamlen, sometimes I think you are denser than an ironbark tree. Why do I let you pursue my sister again?"_

Tamlen laughed as he began to stack the wood by the fire pit. He took it upon himself to pile the kindling, adding the tinder I collected so the wood would catch in all the right places. Once the slender branches had become aflame, a few larger pieces of firewood were added, bathing our small camp in a cozy glow.

"_Because I know her, and **you**. So what gives?"_

"_Tamlen, if you must know, I well, **borrowed** a few bottles of the Keeper's ceremonial wine. It **is** Sahira's first gathering without chaperone. I thought she deserved a bit of fun. Surely you have not forgotten have you?"_

"_How on earth did you ever manage...?"_

"_Please don't ask, just say thank you."_

That was a good big brother for you. No one else would smuggle in multiple bottles of very heady wine to ensure my first gathering free of adult escort would end up fun. I grinned as I assisted Merrill, drawing the pot over the fire. The warming stew smelled delicious, the tender meat rich as it's scent rose to mingle with the wild carrots and onions, fresh herbs added for flavor. As I helped prepare the meal I asked softly.

"_So who do you think will have the best stories this year? And where is Fenarel? He should be enjoying this with us."_

"_Oh lethallan, Fenarel is well, quite enraptured by some pretty thing from the southern clan, I would not expect to see him until the competitions. As for the stories, well perhaps I am biased but I think our own Paivel is the best, though I have heard the western clan has some great tales."_

Once the stew was deemed done and left to warm over the fire, Merrill and Junar set up their prospective sleeping furs by our fire. We would leave the rabbit stew for any who happened to wander by as was custom, as we could partake of any meal at any fire. We would savor the stolen wine later far away from the ears and eyes of the gathered elders. For now, it was a time to re-establish old ties and make new ones, trade stories and crafts, embrace each other as one clan instead of many. It was good to be Dalish.

My fingers were laced lightly with Tamlen's as the four of us strolled off to enjoy the Gathering. I for one was wishing to hear the stories and see that various weaponry on display for trade. I think Merrill wish to speak with the other Keeper's apprentices and share techniques for healing. Junar, well, he had won many competitions at the last Gathering, I supposed he was to claim bragging rights as was his due.

Tamlen was as excited to see new bows and daggers as I was, as we passed my various campfires and I knew that he too enjoyed hearing well spun tales. The scent of woodsmoke and freshly cooked food rose about us as we made our way through the now moonlit meadow. Torches flickered at the corner of the aravels, casting a warmth about the extended camp. I could hear singing and laughing.

It was the sound of a drum that caught my attention as the voice of an Elder spoke, and quite dramatically. I grinned at Tamlen, seeing those warm blue eyes sparkle and with a nod, we sauntered off together to draw by this Elder's fire.

Neither of us spoke a single word as we settled in to listen, the man's beautifully woven tale punctuated with rhythmic beats of the drum. I had never heard anything quite like it, yet I sat enthralled as he regaled us with a tale of Elgar'nan, the God of vengeance. I could almost feel the lightening strike from the sky as this wise man drew us all in and the drummer added to the tale. I think my hands must have been numb afterward from all my clapping.

I pressed a chaste kiss to the elder's cheek in thanks for sharing such a wonderful tale when a long sharp whistle caught my ear. A catcall. Dammit. Here I had thought to avoid this sort of thing. I was wearing a damn anklet after all.

_'So who is the little barefoot beauty? Surely that tender kiss is such a waste on an old man's cheek. It would be better spent on the lips of a real man. Like me."_

I bristled to hear such taunting and I could feel Tamlen's hand grip mine. Hard. Very hard. He would break something here in a minute.

"_And who the hell are you?"_

I sized the slime ball up, he had not the decency to bathe judging by his greasy copper hair, and he was missing a few teeth. Winner with the ladies this one. He had a dagger at his hip, but that was all. I had a small arsenal, between sword and dagger, bow and arrows. I also had a very pissed off Tamlen that was just itching to kill this man. The odds were in my favor.

"_I am Tearlach, the best fighter of the clans. I will have what I choose."_

I snorted in reply. Perhaps it was not the most ladylike response, but this idiot cracked me up.

"_You think so do you? With breath like that? Fen'Harel's arse would be a welcome tea party compared to the utter stench you spew. Be gone, you dishonor the elder that hosts his fire. You are not worth the little effort it would take to make you a bloody party favor."_

"_We shall see bitch, we shall see."_

"_You stupid son of a bitch, if you **dare** come near her, I will rip you to bloody shreds myself. And then I will let her have a go at your sorry ass. She is **mine**. And I have **no** problem making that **perfectly **clear as I severely **thrash** your rear end until you cry for your goddamn **mother**."_

Well, the was unexpected, but I could not help but feel a bit flattered as Tamlen stared down the lecherous elf that would challenge me. I certainly would not want to be on Tamlen's bad side at this given moment. His eyes were filled with fire as his hand was poised over the hilt of his sword. Note to self, do not piss him off. The greasy haired toothless one, did back off, and it was probably due to the fact he was at an Elder's fire. Causing a scene at such would only get him disqualified to compete in the days to come.

I curled my lips in a half smile, half snarl at him. I would not forget the threat, yet I knew what I had to my advantage should he choose to strike me there. He leered at me as he turned on his heel and stormed away from the fire, two of his buddies trailing behind.

"_Tamlen, we should go. We have made the Hahren uncomfortable."_

I then turned my gaze to silver haired old man, who regaled us with the tale. My eyes were soft in warmth and respect.

"_Abelas Hahren. I meant no disrespect. Please accept my apology, and thank you again for sharing your fire and your story."_

"_None taken da'len. Your champion there spoke true. My nephew __**is**__ a son of a bitch in need of a severe thrashing. He likes to bully all the women."_

The old man just chuckled as he lay a gentle hand on my shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. He then glanced to Tamlen.

"_Best keep an eye on her just in case. My nephew also has a rather inflated ego. I will speak to his father."_

"_Creators bless your dreams Hahren."_

I did not wish another confrontation with Tearlach and thought it best to return to our own fire. Tomorrow night when all this has blown over we could visit with the others. The aroma of the rabbit stew was tempting, but I had left my appetite back at the elder's camp.

"_You still have any of that honey wine left Junar? I could use a good long drink."_

"_What is wrong lethallan, you sound upset."_

"_It is nothing really. Just some jerk thought to posture himself at my expense. Tamlen threatened to mangle him. Actually that part was rather funny. I would not mind seeing that asshole crying for his mother."_

I took the offered bottle of wine from Junar's hand, giving a pull to the cork with a tug of my fingers. The wine was thick and sweet as I swallowed it down. Tamlen told Junar and Merrill what had happened and I released a heavy sigh, just wishing to be alone for the moment. The wine was doing nothing for the throbbing headache that pulsed behind my eyes. I felt awful for what had transpired before the elder, ashamed that I had disrespected him.

"_If that bastard so much as looks at her, I will make him cry for more than his mother."_

"_Enough! Save it for the sparring competition if you wish to beat each other up so badly. I have had enough for one night. Merrill, do me a favor and make sure these two don't get us thrown out of the Gathering. I am going off to bathe."_

"_You are not going alone Sahira!"_

"_I will be fine Junar. I will summon the wolf. I am not exactly helpless you know. That jerk will not bother me. He's probably off flexing his muscles for someone else."_

"_Leave her be you two!"_

I was already gathering up my soap and comb from my backpack as the three of them continued to argue. I was not some fragile thing. I was half tempted to take my bow and quiver for a bit of practice and to blow off steam but decided against it. A cool bath in the stream would ease my nerves.

_ **To be continued......**_


	8. Chapter 8

_((A/N – This chapter includes violence that may be disturbing for some. I apologize for the delay in updates, life has gotten busy, much to do before Ren Faire season starts up again here. Again, this is dark and definitely for mature audiences. Bioware owns all that is DA goodness. I as always, am grateful to those of you who read and inspire me to write more.))_

**Chapter 8**

I followed the sound of rushing water as my bare feet eased over the forest floor. Drawing a deep breath of the crisp night air, I felt my muscles begin to relax a bit. Being alone in the forest had always been calming for me, where I felt most at home. I set my comb and soap down upon a flat rock, and glanced out between the trees. It would not hurt to summon a wolf, I rather enjoyed their company. They did not yell and give me headaches.

I stilled, lifting my arms in a graceful arch, gently shutting my eyes and opening my heart and spirit to call the wolf to me. I saw in my mind's eye, the golden eyes of the beast and sensed it drawing closer, it was running now, loping through the trees.....

"_Mmph!"_

I felt a large hand cover my mouth and my eyes blinked in shocked surprise as I was jerked back against someone. I tried to kick, to scream but I was being held quite firmly. I heard the whisper of a dagger being released from it's sheath, the silver blade glinting as I could now see it held before me.

"_Miss me...bitch?"_

I felt an awful sickness rise from the pit of my stomach as I heard his whispered hiss. I was trembling violently now, my gaze locked on the dagger, his breath hot and foul on my ear. I struggled within his grasp as I now saw he had brought friends. Two more men stepped into view and my head was savagely jerked back. They chuckled as they raked their gazes over my trembling and helpless form.

"_I told you I always take what I want. Tonight, I want...**this**."_

I tried to scream, but his large greasy hand over my lips pressed harder, leaving only a muffled cry to strangle in my throat. The ripping sound was too loud in my ears as I felt the thin leather of my vest torn from my body. The dagger's blade was slowly drawn between my breasts. I felt hot bile rise in the back of my throat as I trembled and desperately prayed to Mythal to protect me. At dagger point I was forced to the ground, a filthy rag shoved in my mouth, another wound about my head to cover my eyes. I was now pinned on my back, those greasy large hands pressing down on my shoulders. I thrashed my head violently, I could not see, I could not scream. This was _**not**_ happening.

"_Hold her legs apart, I will be the first to taste this tender flower. And then we shall see who cries for their mother, won't we bitch..."_

I prayed for unconsciousness as I felt the sickening crack of a slap across my face. My cheek burned as I tasted blood in my mouth, my head now swimming with pain. Brutally my leathers were torn from my hips, my legs now held more widely apart. I could hear him loosening the drawstrings of his pants and I wanted to vomit. I wanted to tear him to shreds, all of them. I wanted to scream and plunge my dagger a thousand times through his heart. Oh Mythal, this was not happening, not _this_. I would rather be dead.

Tears streamed from my covered eyes in salty rivulets as I felt his thick cruel lips crush mine. The stench of his breath sent my stomach to contract and heave. I then heard the vicious snarls and the shrieks of surprise. The distinct coppery smell of blood rose strong around me. A loud challenging howl cut through the air and I struggled to push this disgusting bastard off me. I managed to tear away the blindfold to see that a wolf was clawing and shredding the man's back, his two companions trying to fight it off.

"_Kill it, get it off me!"_

I wriggled my way from beneath the man's weight, gasping in complete shock. Desperately I glanced for my weapons and felt the cold realization I had stupidly not brought them with me. The whistle of an arrow, followed by another caught my attention as did the scream of someone in pain. The wolf was still making mincemeat out of the disgusting lout that had tried to rape me, snarling and growling, it's teeth tearing into flesh. One of his two companions was now running off, trying to pull an arrow from his shoulder.

I heard familiar voices scream my name but the whole ordeal was just too much for my brain to handle. The world began to spin violently fast as I felt myself falling into some vast twisting abyss, and then only darkness.

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"_Will she be alright Keeper? Those men, they did not..."_

"_No Ashelle, they did not. I will meet with the Keepers of the other clans to see what will be done with them. Such an abhorrent crime will not go unpunished."_

I awoke to the sound of a vicious snarl and lifted a hand to shield my half closed eyes against the streams of sunlight flooding within the aravel. My jaw throbbed, my entire body ached and I shuddered to recall what I could remember. I bit back a cry of anguish, afraid I had been ruined, spoiled. My fingers clenched around soft fur and I sighed quietly. The wolf I had called was nestled protectively at my side, apparently unhappy with any entering the aravel. I squinted groggily to see that it was Ashelle and murmured to the pale furred beast soothingly.

"_Ashelle?"_

My voice was shaky and timid as I searched my foster mother's face with frightened eyes, afraid she had come to tell me the worst. I could not stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. Ashelle settled in beside me, gently taking my hand.

"_How are you feeling now da'len? The entire camp prays for you. We had to give you the sleeping draughts to finally get you to rest."_

"_They did not...do...**that **did they Mamae?"_

I choked out tearily. It would destroy me if they had taken what I wished for only one man to have and ever know. I would never be able to face him, Tamlen if I had been so violated and disgraced. Shame flooded through my being like a bitter poison and I felt my stomach heave.

"_No da'len, they did not. Your friend here ensured that. Do you not remember?_

Ashelle's voice was incredibly tender, her fingertips stroking the back of my hand. Her eyes were warm in compassion. I tried to recall what had happened after the wolf had come and I furrowed my brow, shaking my head.

"_No Mamae, all I remember is the attack and then the snarling and the blood, screaming..."_

"_Junar heard the wolf and ran off into the woods. It was he who avenged you, he shot the men with arrows and called for Tamlen and Merrill to help. Merrill had to cast a sleeping spell upon your wolf friend here, for he would let none get near your body as you lay unconscious. Tamlen severely beat the one man pinned by Junar's arrows. The other was almost killed by the wolf. He lost an eye and the use of one arm. Never will he walk properly again. We do not know what happened to the third."_

I shuddered again as I listened to her speak, and I swallowed heavily. Drawing a long breath into my lungs I nodded for her to continue.

"_Junar had to physically restrain Tamlen from killing those two... monsters. Merrill treated you as well as she could until you could be carried back here to the aravel. She tore her own robes to cover you. The Keepers are to meet to determine the fate of the one's who attacked you. Worry not da'len they will get what they deserve. Everyone is very worried about you. Do you feel strong enough to come to the fire and eat something?"_

I wished for those men to die violently and by my hand as I felt something deep within my soul had died in that forest. I now knew a cold fear, it wrapped icy fingers about my heart and gripped like a vice. I wanted to return to darkness and forget my aching limbs, the heat of the scalding shame that rose within me. I also knew Ashelle would never allow it, allow me to be defeated by this and the clans would never allow me to mete out my brand of justice.

"_I will try Mamae, I just, feel..."_

"_Shh da'len, you have done nothing wrong and you are strong. You are loved and your clan, your family, will walk you through this. You have done nothing wrong. Take your time, I will be outside."_

Her thin wrinkled lips pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, her hands a cool comfort as they eased through my dark hair. I tried to smile for her but there was no warmth, only a weakness. Despite how utterly and completely lost I felt I knew too somewhere within, she was right. The Creators had spared me for some reason, even if that reason had yet to make itself known to my heart.

I felt a cold nose nudge me and glanced down to the sleek wolf who had ensured that I had lived and been spared a horrible fate. My slender arms eased about the wolf's neck as I hugged it, murmuring my thanks to my protector.

I had been bathed, my hair combed, I could catch the lingering fragrance of sirenbloom and other wildflowers upon my skin. Slowly I peeled away the sleeping furs and glanced about the interior of the aravel, spying a fresh set of leathers neatly folded atop a trunk. My fingertips stroked over the supple dark swede of the leather vest and I drew it to my face to smell it, the rich scent of Dalish cured leather. It was a small comfort in my current world of confusion and deep rooted pain. The designs tooled in were graceful, thoughtful. Whomever had crafted these knew my simple tastes.

I eased the vest over my head and tugged it down over my torso, my fingers a bit shaky as I fumbled with the lacing in the front. I glanced to the animal that patiently watched me with warm golden eyes. I could not bring myself to look upon my own body as I dressed, standing right now took all of my effort and I was thankful for the strength those golden eyes afforded me. I tugged on the short leggings I preferred to wear. The boots, while they were indeed lovely and perfectly crafted, I left. My long fingers gripped the fur at my wolf companion's neck and with shaky legs I slowly eased out of the aravel and into the warmth of the sunlight and my awaiting clan.

_((A/N- This seemed like a good place to finish but to those enjoying my story, worry not there will be more coming very soon.))_


	9. Chapter 9

(( A/N - Not a single review. Either you hate it or you are terribly shy. Good thing for the traffic records and subscribers. In all honesty, please if you have an opinion tell me, I am not gonna get my feelings hurt. I am gonna strive to write better. Tell me your thoughts, maybe I can write a one shot for you, this muse of mine never rests and has a ton of ideas. Give an old lady a break, let me have it good or bad. I will write regardless. Thanks to my hubby for diligent beta work and his undying support. I love you Rhyader. Bioware owns all DA goodness. This is for those that have the courage to inspire me, if in only my inbox, I love you all. XOXOXOXOXO.))

**Chapter 9**

The light of the sun made my head ache and I gripped the soft fur of the wolf all the harder as I moved to the flickering fire. Ashelle had made her infamous venison soup, which was my favorite. I could smell the richness of the meat, the soft hint of spice and fresh herbs. My stomach rumbled loudly and I wondered when I had last eaten. My eyes were firmly cast to the ground as my bare feet moved numbly over the soft earth. How could I look into their eyes, the eyes of my Clan? It was Merrill who first came, her light touch I felt upon my shoulder as I let her guide me.

"_It will be okay lethallan. You are safe now."_

I hated this fear that now lived inside me. It was foreign but I felt it's teeth nonetheless bite hard upon the fiber of my spirit and deeply. I would _not_ cry. If I did not lift my eyes I would not cry. If I cried I would not stop crying. If I cried I would break like so much thin and frail ice over a winter pond. So I shuffled to where she and the wolf led and sank mechanically by the fire. It was easier to simply smell the soup heating and lose myself in the aroma, grip the soft fur in my hand, feel the warm body of the wolf so strong against my thigh.

"_Sahira, da'len look at me."_

I could hear Marethari's voice as if I was in the Beyond, it was there but it was hazy, surreal. She gripped my chin with her hand and gently lifted it so that I was forced to meet her gaze. My eyes dampened with bitter hot tears I refused to allow to spill and I shuddered to draw a breath. The wolf growled in warning. Marethari ignored such completely as she held my fearful gaze.

"_No shame da'len. Not on you. You will listen and listen well. You are a proud daughter of the Dalish and what has been done to you will be punished thoroughly so. You hold your head high and show your people you are the strong huntress that overcomes all. Remember the sacred Vallaslin you wear. Remember your burden is shared. Embrace the love that surrounds you and trust for me to ensure justice. Trust."_

There was such strength in her tone, in the fierceness of her eyes and I knew she meant each and every word. That strength bored into my gaze, piercing the shield I had erected in self protection. A part of my wearied soul soaked it up much like a starving animal laps at sustenance mercifully given. I whispered a pained _"Thank you, Hahren."_

Marethari squared her shoulders as she released my chin. Gently she pressed a tender kiss to each of my cheeks. It need not be spoken where she was going for her posture was that of a warrior preparing for battle as she strode off towards the central fire, where all the Keepers met.

Slowly I lifted my dulled gaze and saw those who sat with me. Merrill was preparing another poultice for my bruised jaw and I noted her torn robe. I would trade my best gear to ensure she had another, one of the finest quality. She had given up her own clothing to ensure my privacy, that I need not be carried back to my clan naked and abused. She gave me dignity when I could not help myself.

Ilen was helping Ashelle with the food, I could feel the weariness about them both, as if neither had slept for a night. Paivel was speaking quietly with Junar some paces away from the fire and I knew that each were according me a bit of privacy to...adjust slowly.

I could sense him before I could see him, there was such a great sorrow about his presence it pierced my heart as surely as well as an accurately aimed arrow. Oh I could not bear to hurt Tamlen in any way. I prayed he had not seen me so compromised, I could not even finish the thought it was so mortifying. My green eyes glazed over and I was staring at nothing, allowing the numbness to return to shield me into nothingness when I felt the circle of strong arms come from behind me and draw me close.

I shut my eyes and allowed the tears to slowly stain my cheeks as he simply held me in a tender embrace. He never turned my face to his. The soft warmth of his lips brushed over my neck and he whispered tenderly into my ear.

"_No shame my love. Never that. None can touch what I know is your heart. I will love you until you can love yourself once more. I will be your strength until that time. My strength is your strength."_

I could not respond to his heartfelt words and I suppose he knew this. He knew I had not the strength to look at him yet and never did he insist that I should. Instead he pressed a hot bowl of soup into my hand, and with his own fingers wrapped gently about mine, drew it to my lips to sip. I eased against the broadness of his chest and let him feed me, slowly drawing in nourishment from the venison soup. I felt the dizziness in my head subside a bit as I drank. I could now look up a bit shyly and meet the eyes of those of my clan.

As was our way, we did not linger to talk of painful things. For my benefit I think we spoke of neutral topics, knowledge that had been shared between the Keepers, what spice Ashelle had added to the soup. These things were safe and helped forge a bridge back to the living for me. I felt a safety draw into the marrow of my bones as I was held close by Tamlen. He helped return something I thought was forever lost. It was not until the Lady began her ascent to light the wicks of stars to flicker one by one and cast a silvery glow against the night sky that I spoke. It was then I turned to face him, my green eyes raw and vulnerable as I gazed into his steady blue eyed gaze.

"_I have need to honor Andruil, will you come with me?"_

"_Of course my love, I shall gather the lamp."_

Tamlen released his protective embrace to rise and move with his easy, long legged strides to the aravel to retrieve a single lamp filled with sacred oil, used to honor the Gods. I looked to the resting wolf at my feet and stroked his fur, I need not tell him to follow, never again would I be found without his protection. My clan, they all knew what I was doing, I was to honor the Goddess, to thank her for sparing me, protecting me. If I was to heal, I had to open myself up to Her, allow Her to come within my heart again and fuse with my soul. I hurt and I ached but I could never deny my faith in my chosen Goddess. I needed Her to take a portion of this pain, take away the shame, and I needed Tamlen there.

Ilen, Junar and Ashelle nodded in respect as I silently strode off with Tamlen, the wolf pacing protectively at my side. It felt good to walk again, to trail my fingertips atop the blades of tall green grasses, to feel Tamlen so close beside me. As we stepped into the cluster of trees that marked the wood where I had been so brutally attacked, I had to draw a sharp breath much like a whimper of pain. My legs shook and I stumbled clumsily, feeling that icy grip of fear return. Tamlen would not let me drown in such, I felt his hand grip my shoulder firmly, patiently guide me instead to where the pristine and cool water rippled over granite rock.

My soft lips parted with the whispered chant to the Goddess of the Hunt, my tone that of deep sincere reverence, my gaze locked upon the sliver of crescent that was reflected in the silvery water. I had blindly picked wildflowers at random as we trekked here, my hands were sticky from the thick green stems. I glanced to Tamlen and he easily lit the lamp with a quick striking of flint stones, sending the spark to envelope the wick and offer the Goddess light and scent as I offered beauty to her wild nature, releasing the vibrant blooms to the churning waters.

"_A daughter comes humble before Her sight, a daughter comes bearing the gifts of Her bounty. A daughter comes to...to..."_

I could not finish the prayer. I choked up and began to shudder, trying desperately to bite back the agony of pain I wanted to scream, the anguish I wanted to release. In my heart I wanted vengeance. I _wanted_ their blood on my hands. I _wanted _to feel it and to taste it, to _know_ it. I wanted to feel them come to the last of life and _revel_ in it. The pale furred wolf howled balefully, lifting it's massive head to the moon to sing his mournful plea as I shook uncontrollably.

"_Seek this path alone where she should not for she is not alone. A daughter, may need to know herself again. Beloved of the Goddess. Beloved..."_

His heady whisper came soft in warmth as his large strong hands sought my shoulders. Gently he turned me to face him, clear blue eyes seizing my own. Tamlen's fingertips eased over my battered cheek and jaw tenderly. I winced a bit to feel the stinging bruise of pain there. Tenderly he kissed over the purple and blue flesh as if it was something marvelous to behold. Something precious. I closed my eyes and drew a breath, feeling the silken warmth of his lips, and the numbness I had felt before began to melt a bit. Droplets fading in the warmth of a great strong sun. The grip of nightmare began to ease it's vicious hold on my soul as those lips eased over the length of my neck.

"_And so the daughter of the Huntress came back to the Mother and knew that Her strength was her own for the two were one. Ever entwined for the cycle of the moon is never ending."_

My lips moved with speech but nothing came vocalized, each slender wrist raised and kissed with the same tenderness and care as was my battered face. Every bruise, every scar, scathing cut was tenderly caressed with that sweet brush of lips, a heat that was some cleansing fire that I had never felt. I wept wholeheartedly and I allowed myself to fully feel my grief as he held me in moonlight before the Goddess in Her crescent form. Never did those blue eyes waver in their respect, care and love. I knew I would never love another like this again as long as I lived. New beginnings, this waxing of the moon.

.

.

.

I cannot recall how long we stood there, within the soft embrace and light of Andruil, all I can remember is his lips upon my bare flesh and my lips as the ice from my heart began to melt all the more. We held each other for the longest time, enraptured in the light of the Lady, the wolf close, protective by my side. I can remember the exact feel of Tamlen's fingers stroking through my wealth of long dark hair, it was ever so tender as he spoke softly.

"_Sahira, they will try them this night. It is up to you if you wish to attend. You do not have to, it is understood..."_

I had cut him off before he could finish, bad habit of mine.

"_Oh I will attend. I will watch. If I cannot kill them I would watch. I would know. I would have the closure I deserve."_

Tamlen simply nodded, pressing a kiss to my lips, reassuring me I was loved and I would be avenged. We shall see about that.

.

.

.

.

.

We assembled to the central fire united as a clan, strong, unwavering, the need for justice fierce in each pair of eyes I glimpsed in flickering light. Junar and Tamlen flanked me as I strode unwavering to the large circle of flame that marked the Keeper's central circle. I held their hands rigidly tight.

The condemned, all two of them were tied hand and foot with coarse rope, left prone before their Elders to lay in utter shame before all of the Gathering. The eyes of all that gathered lay upon them in their individual judgment. The scorn rose thick within the night air. The flames seemed to roar as they rose, the Keepers taking their places in their chairs. I knelt with my family, drawing upon their strength as I battled the need to rush upon those who had hurt me, slit their throats without mercy. They were lucky I was relieved of my weapons this night.

"_Never in the history of a Gathering have we of the Dalish had to mete such a harsh judgment against those of our own. There will be no defense against such accused, the evidence is clear. I demand justice in the name of the Mahariel Clan!"_

Marethari's voice rose shrill and unwavering. She glanced to the other Keepers in their high ceremonial robes. Her tone demanded justice for me. I listened, silent.

"_No quarter will be given by our clan Lady, such an injustice done against the former Keeper's daughter will granted the full right of the law."_

The what? Former Keeper's what? My heated gaze instantly snapped to Ashelle's, demanding an explanation. I was who? This was_ not_ happening. I was an orphan, Ashelle took pity, raised me. I was just a huntress....

"_Even if she were not, such matters little. Such a crime against any Dalish is unacceptable. I demand banishment. Such monstrosity should not be allowed to live among our people and death is far too merciful a fate. I demand the banishment. I demand such live their days among the slums of the flatears. Let them mete out a life, their faces different, their labor hard, the stomachs empty, never again to be free. They are dead to us as Dalish."_

Marethari's voice grew ragged as she all but shrieked her plea. I was still stunned at the father was a Keeper part.

"_Does the revered group of Keepers object to such a motion? Speak now."_

Not one spoke a word. I looked upon the bloodied face of Tearlach, as awful as it was I wished to look upon him to know his shame, that his own flesh and blood had abandoned him. I saw the heat of rage rise within those nasty jowls that wagged. I saw the hate within his dark gaze. I did not care. Let him starve among those slaves of the shemlen and be the lowest of the low. I knew enough that Dalish were not exactly embraced among the stinking slums of city elves. His markings would always make him a shamed Dalish. It was better than death. Eternal shame. I could live with that.

"_Then let it be so and recorded by all the Dalish clans. Tearlach and Tyrion are so banished from the entirety of the Dalish. You are denied the warmth of fire, the sharing of our bounty, the coolness of water. Never may you show your face again among our kind. Never will we sing for you either praise nor dirge."_

"_You fucking bitch! I will make you pay, you mark my words. I will make you hurt more than you have ever known, I will make you wish you had never been alive. Mark my words bitch!"_

His scream sounded shrilly in my ears and seeing that all were gathered at the central fire there was none to stop him from his next act upon leaving. With his limping gait he made his way into my former camp and took my bow, sneering at me at he thrust it against his knee. It cracked with a sickening and solid snap. The pieces fell to the earth as he ran off like the coward he was and I was left slack jawed, in utter shock.


	10. Chapter 10

_((A/N – I am so reluctant to leave the Dalish world, please bear with me, Sahira will eventually do the Grey Warden thing and as only a Dalish elf can. Another chapter or so within the embrace of the clan... yes... I thank my reviewer and it is to you Ser, I owe a bounty of inspiration. It is your kind words among others that touch my heart and breathe life into Sahira. I thank my husband the Giant's addict for reading this as beta. Falconry is a sport too ya know. Bioware owns all that is Dragon Age, the rest is mine. Shambalahe is my WoW druid, since I have not played in ages I owed her an appearance. After five years of raiding I owed her a blissful retirement. As always, your hits, your feedback that you read this at all, feeds the creative soul here. Namaste. "Bring me to life..." Indeed. Yes Sahira, I will.))_

**Chapter 10**

Then condemned were long gone, swallowed by the forest's thickness by the time I had sprinted to the small camp and taken up the pieces of my now broken bow. A part of me wished to chase after that monster but such would never repair the damage done. Ilen had crafted this bow especially for my hand. Now it was destroyed. I sat there in stunned silence, holding the two pieces, gazing numbly at the dangling bowstring.

"_You're going to be late you know."_

I glanced up to see Junar and shrugged nonchalantly. My heart was heavy with all that had transpired. At this moment in time my heart really had nothing left to give. I gazed dully at Junar and allowed the pieces of the broken bow to fall to my feet.

"_Late for what?"_

"_The competition. You are still on the roster. Despite the drama of the past two days, the elders thought it best for the activities to go on."_

"_Yeah such is our way, but I am not competing. Even if I had the desire to, how could I?"_

Junar snorted at me, easily crossing the short distance across the small camp with long strides. He simply gripped my arm and forcibly tugged me to my feet. His strong fingers dug into my upper arm as he pulled me close, his face inches from my own. A fiercely strong determination smoldered in his gaze.

"_You will compete because you **must**! I did not spend weeks preparing you to wallow in self pity. You **will** enter and you **will **be strong because you must. I will **not** allow you to poison your own heart."_

"_But..Junar... this is impossible!"_

My protests fell on deaf ears. Junar practically dragged me from the camp as I scowled and muttered all sorts of elven profanity under my breath. I did not know what he thought I could possibly accomplish going through with this. My big brother was not one to take no for an answer.

"_Here she is Ilen. Best to place her in the first round before she runs."_

Before I could utter more protests I felt the leather strap of a quiver slide over my shoulder, familiar weight settle upon my back. A large bow was slapped into my right hand and all I could do was stand there gaping. Junar whispered harshly into my ear.

"_Your hand is my hand, my bow is your bow. My strength is your strength. Now harness that pain and release it. Focus."_

He shoved me hard, forcing me to stumble towards the others gathered to prove their prowess with the bow. I was welcomed with a few snickers. I glared murderously at the targets set across the green field. The fingers of my right hand adjusted upon the supple smooth wood of the bow, learning it's weight before passing it to my left.

Ilen's strong voice rang out over the assembled crowds.

"_The rules of the archery match are simple, the first to the complete the course will be declared the winner. You will be tested on marksmanship and accuracy. Your targets will be both stationary and mobile. Each round will be announced and you will commence shooting on my word."_

"_Round one! Critical shots will be the only ones to qualify to advance to the next round. Shoot!"_

I drew an arrow from my quiver without thought and notched it to the bowstring. It was like breathing and there was something comforting in the feel of the shaft in my fingers, the sound of the bowstring creaking as it grew taught as I drew it back. My green eyes narrowed as I took aim at the erected target. That target was my foe, my prey and I harnessed my hate and rage and hurt, refined it to a deadly and perfect aim. Something inside me rejoiced as I loosed the arrow to cut through the air and I was rewarded with the solid sound of the target firmly being hit.

The air was alive with hushed murmurs of the crowd as Ilen inspected the targets for accurate critical shots. He was the acknowledged hunter master for this Gathering as well as for our clan. Not only could he craft fine weapons and armor, there was nothing this man did not know about the hunt. I held my breath and glanced about me to the others competing. They all looked as nervous as I felt.

"_The following hunters will move on to the next leg....."_

Confidence surged throughout my veins as I heard my name called. Junar has been right. I had to do this, I had to try, I had to focus my rage and pain into something that would give me my spirit back. I lifted my chin a little and smiled as I heard my clan scream my name in cheers.

Each round was harder than the one before it. We competed ferociously, chasing after the spell wisps the Keepers flung at us. I _loved _every moment of it, to feel the adrenaline pump, the sweat pour down my face. My fingers were bleeding as we approached the last round. A part of me wanted this to never end. This was home, where I was strong and the trap of self pity could not touch me. Two of us were left and I smiled in respect to the hunter from the other clan.

_This last round will determine the winner of this Gathering's archery competition. You will kite an orb of magical energy. Should the orb reach you first, you are out. First hunter across the finish line wins."_

I heard the sizzle of electrical magic rise crisp in the air and inwardly groaned. Those things hurt. Now was not the time to dwell on it, for it was advancing upon me and I was running, leaping into the air to twist my legs and hips, aim and fire a slowing shot before hitting the ground and darting off again to sprint away to gain distance.. Every muscle of my legs and arms ached as I evaded the magical electric orb pursuing me. I glanced for a split second to the other hunter who was evenly paced with me and looking just as determined. With a final push, we rose simultaneously , bodies writhing as hips and torso's twisted and arrows flew. When my feet hit the ground I lunged forward for the finish, gasping for breath.

It was a close call, but the other hunter had crossed the finish line just a moment before I did. I grinned as I wrapped him up in a hug both of us rolling over the soft earth. I was happy he had won. It was a heady battle and that was what I loved.

"_No hard feelings?"_

"_No of course not, I should be thanking you. You may have won but I got a precious reward as well."_

We helped each other to stand and exchanged another hug. I stood with my head held high and for the first time in days, I felt completely happy. Junar for all his brashness and bluntness was far wiser than I had given him credit for. He knew what my heart needed when I did not. His strength had been mine until I could claim my own back.

"_Next Gathering, I am kicking your ass though."_

"_I look forward to the battle lethallan."_

I laughed and left the victor to his adoring crowd, striding through the tall green grass of the field. It did not take much time for my clan to find me, sweep me up in their collective hugs, words of warmth and congratulations. I soaked it all in and I think in that moment I truly knew what it was to be Dalish, to be something more than just myself. Never was I alone. My hand was as their hand, their strength was my strength.

Junar was standing off by himself by Ilen's aravel, grinning at me. I did not know words appropriate enough to thank him for what he helped me to see, what he demanded I give back to myself, my clan. How exactly do you thank someone for giving back your heart and soul? There are no words for that, Junar had taught me such thanks is shown through living fearlessly and fully.

"_I did not win the contest Junar, but I did win the war."_

I shoved his bow back into his hand and smiled into his eyes. He knew me well enough that I need not state what I felt, he could read what was reflected in the soulful gaze of my eyes.

"_Never in those weeks we trained did I say you had to **win **the contest my sister. You needed to find yourself again. I just gave you the shove you needed. Next Gathering however..."_

I nodded and pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. I heard yipping and barking behind me and had to laugh to see the sight of my wolf dancing upon hind legs. Affectionately I grasped up his paws, dancing with him. Junar quirked a dark brow and laughed.

"_Speaking of dancing Sahira, you are coming tonight yes?"_

"_Of course, I thought it would be fun if we all go but I wanted to stop by Master Varathorn's camp. I heard he had brought some excellent ironwood bows, thought I would see his wares."_

"_That's my girl. Now I need to find something to eat before the dagger throwing competition. It would be epic failure to faint mid throw."_

"_Daggers eh? Hmmm."_

A slow grin passed over my lips as I canted my head. Junar was a master of the bow but not of the dagger. That was a forte of mine. My slender fingers reached to my right hip to withdraw my blade. I pressed the handle to Junar's hand. This was my personal dagger, I knew every crafted inch of this blade and cared for it as a mother does her child.

"_Your hand is as my hand brother. Be merciless."_

Junar was of course, merciless and triumphant. I had been proud to cheer him on.

The festivities carried on all day and I enjoyed strolling the meadow with my hand laced through Tamlen's, the laughter of Merrill and Fenarel trailing behind us. My wolf for the most part stayed at my side, occasionally distracted by a butterfly or bounding hare. I could hear the clash of steel as men fought fiercely in the sparring competition. We had watched the older warriors for a time and it was easy to see why the shemlen would fear us. There was no mercy in the eyes of the elven warriors as they fought, if only for first blood.

It was a carefree afternoon of stealing kisses, laughing, enjoying the company of my friends and of the gathered clans. Whatever awkwardness that had been created by past event's drama was forgotten now. It was not our way to dwell on things that could not be changed.

"_Ohhh Sahira, there is Elder Shambalahe's fire. She makes the the most beautiful clothing. C'mon!"_

I cast a helpless look at Tamlen as Merrill grasped my free hand and dragged me off laughing. Tamlen grinned as he blew a kiss my way.

"_Seems the ladies wish to shop Fenarel. I don't know about you but I have no desire to look at beaded dresses and armbands. I hear Althandrel has some good games at his fire."_

"_Sounds good to me Tamlen. Sa', Merrill, it seems Tamlen wishes me to watch him lose more arrowheads. Come find us when you are done."_

I giggled helplessly, knowing Tamlen was horrible at gambling but I could not blame them for wanting to go play. I stumbled after Merrill to the Elder's fire, the scent of freshly tanned leather greeting me. Shambalahe was a bit of a legend, none knew exactly how old she really was and she had this uncanny way of just knowing things about people. It was said she knew the shape shifting magic too. The elder also crafted dresses for ceremonial dancing.

"_Andaran atish'an , da'len. Come by the fire and relax."_

My wolf whined softly as we approached, his tail wagging in a fury. The elder woman smiled, giving the animal a good and proper scratch upon the neck as Merrill and myself seated ourselves across from her. My curious green eyes drank in her timeless features. Lines etched across her brow and at the corners of her silver eyes. She wore her long pale hair loose to her hips with no adornment. She looked as if she had been borne of the moonlight. A quiet strength and power radiated from her. I smiled and nervously swallowed.

"_Now would you pretty da'len like some tea, perhaps a bone for your handsome wolf. Oh yes I think he would like that just fine."_

"_Thank you Hahren."_

My wolf was happily gnawing and slurping the marrow from a large deer bone settled snugly between his paws, laying content at her feet. The ethereal eyes of the elder's met mine. My hand shook a bit as I struggled not to spill my tea. Shambalahe's gaze was the softness of spun halla wool and the warmth of a mother's lap. She smiled gently, setting the teapot down to warm anew.

"_You come for my wares, to enchant the young men beneath Andruil's gaze? Hmm?"_

"_Well, ummm..."_

My social skills were once again proving less than eloquent as I stammered. I looked about for Merrill but she was already off behind the aravel, with her nose in an old tome. Shambalahe laughed softly, the sound of her laughter clear and innocent as a bubbling creek.

"_Ah da'len, the life for those chosen by the Mother Huntress is never easy yet you have proven worthy. No need to be nervous of me. I am just an old woman. You have had many challenges as of late yes?"_

"_Ummm..."_

Those silvery eyes crinkled a bit in warmth as she laughed lightly. Her lips drew up in a serene smile I could not help but get caught up in. She rose with an elegant grace to come and sit beside me, placing a wrinkled hand upon my knee.

"_More await you da'len but such is not a worry for today. No for today we shall worry about color and shape. No golds and silvers for you. Nature is your heart. You know I have something I have saved for many years now that would suit. Yes."_

The Elder reached behind to draw open the top of a massive chest, rummaging through it until a garment swaddled in layers of silk emerged in her hands. She nodded as she looked at me with her wise piercing gaze. I was still speechless, yet I watched.

"_Once, some sixteen or seventeen years ago, another wore this dress at a Gathering. A huntress with your lovely dark hair and green eyes. Yes I think this will suit you perfectly, though her tale is not mine to tell, that you shall learn in time da'len. Come try this on, I think you will like it."_

"_Uhhh okay...."_

There was something about her words to me that spoke to my heart, some distant memory not known by sight but by feeling. I could smell something familiar as I unwrapped the layers of silk, inhaling the rising scent of feathers, leather and that undefined smell, something that made my pulse race, it was warm and safe. I could not place it but I _knew_ it on a primal level.

Cool hands helped me out of the sweaty Dalish leather I wore, an even cooler cloth cleansing away the built up grime and dust from the day's triumphs and exertions. Shambalahe helped me into the finely crafted ceremonial dress of feathers and leather. My fingers stroked over the softness of the black plumes that captured mingling hues of deep emerald green and violet. Delicate bead work glinted in the corner of my eye as I smoothed my hands down long the short black leather skirt. It was made entirely of fringe and beads, cut high on my hips, the knotted ends teasing over the tops of my thighs.

I could not help but admire it as I grinned and twisted my hips to and fro, hearing the beads rattle, watching the light play over the feathers to invite the colors to bloom.

"_Ohhh Hahren....it is.... just...."_

"_Yes dear, that is exactly what your mother said when I crafted this for her. Now for accessories."_

"_What? This was my mother's? You knew my mother?"_

"_A tale better told at another time da'len. Trust me yes? Now I think a few armbands with the black feathers and the anklets with the black and green beads. Yes. Perfect. She would be so proud you know."_

I was left in stunned silence. This woman had known my mother, crafted this beautiful dress for her. And she gave this now to me. I wanted to ply her with questions but my mouth would do nothing but stammer as her gentle hands drew me towards a mirror. My eyes widened as I glanced this mysterious creature in the reflection. Her hair dark and long hung to her hips as pale withered hands adorned her brow with a beaded circlet, the gems sparkling in deep onyx and forest green. Rich black feathers rose about her breasts to offer hints of the forest with winks of emerald, the plumes at her waist mere kisses of violet.

The feathers ended in a rich drape of perfectly tanned black leather, tight over the hips, the thin fringe a tease over her tanned thighs and beaded in more onyx and forest green. Just a few pale beads of ivory added an ethereal sparkle. Feathered armbands accented her biceps as glinting beads shone at her ankles. All I could do was gawk shamelessly, unbelieving this creature was me.

"_Needless to say dear, there is no charge seeing this was your mother's. All I ask is you do not ask me of her, that is not my tale to share. The time will come when you can repay me. Trust me on this. Yes?"_

I was still gawking when Merrill strolled close and gasped.

"_Oh Sahira..."_

"_It's.... it was my... my mother's..."_

"_No wonder then.... lethallan."_

"_Hahren, could you work your magic on Merrill?"_

"_But of course dear, let's see, yes for her the silver and cool blues, just give me a moment. Such lovely blonde hair."_

What had entered the Elder's fire had emerged images of goddesses cloaked in mystery for now, only to reveal their power and beauty in the dancing that would come. Merrill and I grinned at each other and we squeezed hands again, all giddy for our experiences with the Elder Shambalahe. I would never forget her, what she gave me.. We both glowed with feminine power as we crossed the field to call back the men who were surely rendered broke by now.

"_You think they are truly broke Merrill?"_

"_Mmm probably Sa'."_

"_Blast, I hope I still have enough for the bow I wanted."_

We approached the fire of Althandrel, known gambler and cheat. If I really wanted to I could probably cut his purse or waste hours of time bluffing him at cards but I found both rather boring. Tamlen was cursing beneath his breath which did not bode well and Fenarel was laughing. Yep, Tamlen lost again.

"_So ladies, how was the shopping adventure?"_

"_Amazing, Elder Shambalahe is such a beautiful soul. And generous as well. She gave me something of my mother's."_

"_Oh? Do tell."_

"_No. You my love, will simply have to watch and wait. I promise it will be worth it."_

Merrill was the one to end the games, insisting that we go watch the children's dance as I teased Tamlen. I did have something in mind for him, something intimate and special. My hand slipped easily into his, the softness of my lips brushing a fleeting kiss over his warm mouth. I heard his answering purr and grinned, oh this would be a good night indeed.

_Sahira....do I look ok?"_

I felt an insistent tug on my cloak and glanced down to see Rhyader's daughter Evella peering up at me, her lips clearly pouting. My heart melted, she looked so pretty in her deerskin dress, the crown of flowers now drooping to all but cover one pretty green eye.

"_Come here lethallan, hold still."_

I adjusted the flowers at her brow and smoothed the leather that adorned her thin and coltish body.

"_Now you are perfect."_

"_Really? Are you sure?"_

"_Of course I am love. Now take a giant deep breath and count to three. Then you will knock 'em dead. Promise."_

I smoothed the ends of her long hair and gave her behind a light swat to set her moving to where the other children awaited their ques. She grinned up at me, hugging my knees tight again before racing off, the garland inevitably drooping. It was too cute. I glanced tenderly to Tamlen, hope shining in my bright green eyes that we should have this, a child who hugged knees and looked at us with such trust. He grinned at me and stole an arm about my waist, leading me off with Merrill and Fenarel to watch the dancing.

Drums struck up a light and playful rhythm as the trilling of flutes wove in, creating an innocent atmosphere. The strums of lap harps and lutes eased effortlessly with the joyful sound now rising from the center of the meadow. There burst a glory of color and laughter as Dalish children raced out, all adorned in beaded deerskin and brightly hued ribbons. Brightly flushed cheeks were painted with hare's blood, sacred to our Goddess. I do not think a single one of us that watched could not grin in pride. I glanced to my friends as I started the chant and the rhythmic clapping, urging the children on.

"_From the blessed hearth they are born and by our hand and heart made strong..."_

My breath was taken away as I watched Evella's pretty face, upturned in rapture as she spun and leaped, left to the abandon of her innocent heart. I caught Rhyader's face as tears of pride trailed over the crevices of time and grief. Ashelle held his hand. I hoped the Goddess would bless me so, with children as I watched the youngest of the Dalish dance their hearts with their frenzy and fancy.

Drums resounded louder as the children were led off to eat sweet honeyed treats or slumber in their mother's arms. These drums that pounded now were not for the innocent, I could feel each beat resound in my racing pulse. I peeled my cloak off, throwing back my head to release a spirited cry to the Moon. I heard a soft gasp as I was revealed in feathers and leather a bit of beads.

"_Tamlen...."_

My gaze flared hot as my hips wove in serpentine motion, easing the fringe of my costume over supple tanned thighs. Beads rattled, feathers beckoned touch as I gazed at him, my hands snaking overhead, wrists twisting sinuously about each other. I wanted to eat him alive. I wanted to taste and eat and touch and know everything. I switched my curvy hips, pivoting on my toes to rattle the beads, send my dark hip length hair to whisper and tease over the gentle curves he would know later.

"_And so the daughter of the goddess calls her god, may the fires burn bright, the earth offer fertility.."_

Shambalahe simply watched, a very pleased smiled etched upon her full lips. She enjoyed watching the daughter seize womanhood, her strength after so much had threatened to break that. Silver eyes glistened with a warm joy as she observed men and women come together beneath fire and moonlight. It was only natural.

Feral screams and howls rose as fires were lit to honor the sacred Goddess of the hunt and fertility, the sisters who tended the wood as well as the hearth. Tamlen gazed at Sahira in wonder, a bowl cupped in his hand as she writhed gracefully about him. His fingers dipped into the sacred hare's blood and as she danced before him, her head thrown back in wild abandon, he traced his damp fingertip to trail along the line of her neck. Her head lifted up as her hips swayed with the potent rhythm of the drums, swaying to offer glimpse of thigh and hip. Slender fingers dipped into the blood to trail over each of his cheeks, his nose.

"_What She has brought together let none ever lay asunder...."_


	11. Chapter 11

_((A/N - Thanks to all those who subscribe and read, you are the pulse of this story as surely mt Dalish elf is._ This chapter is rated M for a reason. There is sex. ))

**Chapter 11**

I reveled in the feel of Tamlen's fingers smoothing the sacred blood over my neck as my own smeared the life force upon his cheeks. My heart was racing uncontrollably as I shuddered in heat, my gaze surely eating him alive.

"_Blessed by the Goddess be the daughter that conquers...."_

The chorus that sang to the Goddess sounded miles and miles away from where we stood, completely taken with one another. My body still swayed to and fro though I could barely make out the sound of the rhythmic drums anymore. I was completely entranced by Tamlen's gaze, the heat that smoldered in pale blue depths, the fierce hunger that caused something within my own belly to stir in response.

His strong fingers gripped my left wrist and before I could utter a surprised gasp I was hoisted effortlessly up and over his shoulder. Held firmly in place about the thighs, the length of my dark hair swept the cool tall grasses and I could not help but laugh in delight as he carried me off, away from the dancing and drumming.

The night's breeze was a cool kiss upon my exposed tanned flesh, and I felt a bit dizzy once Tamlen settled me to my bare feet. I blinked a few times, rising to my toes to brush my lips over his. My ears perked as I heard a rustling several yards behind him and smiled to see it was only my loyal wolf.

"_I may never have privacy again."_

I had to laugh softly, nodding to where a feral set of golden eyes watched.

"_Not if I can help it. If left to me you would never leave my sight."_

"_That may not be so bad."_

I grinned, feeling his strong arms wrap about my waist, urging me into his lap. My thighs straddled his as I wriggled a bit, getting comfortable. My fingertip traced over the fine lines of his Valaslin as I mused softly to myself, hoping my own ceremony would be sooner than later. I do not know if it was the music, or the dancing, the ritual magic of the eve that had me so fascinated with him, _needing_ to know every detail of his handsome face. Perhaps it was a combination of it all.

Moonlight bathed us in mysterious slivers of silvery light through the grove of majestic trees as we simply gazed at each other, not needing to speak. His fingertips traced over the curve of my left ear, sending delicious hot shivers to resonate through my being. My own fingers continued to memorize and trace over his cheeks where the hare's blood was now dried, the shape of his warm lips. Tamlen's arousal was more than apparent through the soft leather of his trousers and I blushed a bit, burying my face into the silken warmth of his neck. Gods he smelled good. And I rather liked the feel of his hardening arousal between my thighs, my hips shifting a bit closer to his.

His hands moved to stroke the long length of my dark hair, soothingly, before coming to gently cup my face and lift my shy gaze to his. What I saw there took my breath away, the mix of tenderness and desire, the depth of warmth and care. I knew without a doubt that he loved me and would never hurt me. When my lips finally pressed to his it was with the full abandon of everything that filled my heart.

Our kiss grew deeper and bolder, my arms drawing him as close as possible as his hands gently whispered over my back. I could not stop tasting him, my tongue delving deeper within his warm mouth, the little groans of pleasure he made in the back of his throat fueling the heat of my desire for him. We were both shaking when Tamlen finally broke the kiss, his face flushed.

"_Tamlen... have you ever..?"_

My voice sounded raw and hot as I tried to stammer out the question I already knew the answer to.

"_Shhh my love.. No... only you. It will only be you..."_

I do not know why I had to ask, or try to ask, perhaps it was the insecurity of a woman's heart. Well almost a woman. My soft lips began to tenderly kiss over his high cheekbones, his brow and eyelids as my hands drifted down to his waist, fingers gripping the bottom of his thin woven shirt. The wool was incredibly soft to my touch, my green eyes surely wide as I feasted upon the slowly revealed visage of his bare chest. I drew back long enough to pull the garment over his head, sending those honeyed strands of flax to fall haphazardly over his broad shoulders. Tamlen's eyes widened in a bit of surprise yet the smile on his lips was warm as ever if not a bit more intimate. My fingers stroked over the planes of his chest, exploring, marveling at the silky feel of his skin, the tension of the muscle beneath.

My enamored gaze never left his as I felt his hands ease over my sides, stroking the rich dark feathers, slowly traveling over the flat of my belly to smooth over my breasts. My back arched a bit, to offer invitation, permission, the stance of my bared thighs widening as a rush of heat rose between the closeness of our bodies. We gazed at each other in new wonder, slowly wading into this ever deepening pool.

The black suede of my skirt rode tight about my slender hips and I ached to feel those hands over my bare skin, to make a reality the years I had dreamed of just this. My fingers brushed over his as he unhooked the bodice of my savage costume, his gasp sweet to my ears as feathers gently fell away. I had to stand to tug the fringed leather down past my thighs and ankles, carefully folding the garment to place away. I gave a little toss to my hair to send it rippling down my back, watching him with a smile as he kicked off his boots and pulled at the drawstring of his snug leather pants. Perhaps now was the time for the "something special" and I offered the love of my life a moment of privacy. My fingers slipped into the bodice of feathers I had worn to retrieve a sacred element, something taught to me when I had learned to master herbalism. I palmed the small vial, it's content nothing more than the fermented honey of wild bees, the extracted essence of sirenbloom and elfroot. It would sweeten the evening, a slight heightening of the senses, but really no more than a skin of wine would accomplish.

"_And what do we have here? Hmm?"_

I felt the heat of his strong hands on my bare hips as I tightened my grip on the vial, giggling devilishly.

"_Oh just a little something to sweeten your lips further my love. I could not stash away a bottle of wine within my scant costume now could I?"_

"_Oh? No I suppose you could not, and I am rather glad you didn't. Would be a crime to distract from such beauty with some ungainly bottle."_

I felt his fingers tighten, dig into the flesh of my naked hips as he forcibly turned me around to face him, my swift right hand snapping to the small of my back, the vial concealed from view. He was as I was, naked save the soft caress of leather that covered the loins. I breathed in his scent and wondered if I needed the vial at all, he was so heady and masculine and alive. He smelled of pure passion, a spice I could taste even now that was inviting and surely addictive. That ravenous blue eyed gaze slowly drank in my nudity, savoring the full curve of my breasts, the deepening color of my nipples as they stiffened in the cool kiss of the evening's kiss of breeze. I could smell my own arousal, the sweet warm musk rising and I flushed deeply to realize my thighs glistened wetly, betraying my desire for him.

"_You are so very beautiful when you blush...."_

It was not a tease, his voice resonated with an awe I had not heard before and suddenly the ground beneath my bare feet was not so interesting. Slowly I lifted my green eyes, licking my lips as I drew my hand forth to offer him the vial. Tamlen took it from my hand and easily cracked the seal, taking a small sip before handing it back. I glanced to the stars, the moon peeking between treetops as I drew the vial to my lips and finished it's contents, my mind and body growing so pleasantly warm. He kissed me with a deep tenderness that made my heart and body flame. I tossed the vial away as Tamlen drew me close once more, easing me to the warmth of his lap.

We began to explore each others bodies once more, the fortitude of the sweet ancient elixir easing the awkwardness a bit. His strong hands kneaded my breasts, his palms teasing my nipples until they throbbed and I moaned, my own slender hand daring beneath the skimpy thong of leather he wore. How hot to the touch he was, and thick, my fingers curled around his length to ease in strokes up and down his member and I heard those delightful little cries of pleasure again. I wanted to hear more of those. The head was soft, sensitive, judging by his moans, and I wished to taste it, feel his desire, taste it. My hips shifted forward as my back arched, slender hands reaching to cup my breasts to feed my aching nipples to his lips and tongue. Ohhhh I was gonna lose it right here and now. This was too _good_.

A throbbing pulse and lava hot wetness scalded my loins, leaving me aching for more.

_'Tamlen...."_

My whisper was ragged, hot, needy, my grip tightening over his hardness as the tip of his tongue teased at my taut tightening nipples. I could not breathe nor speak, my one hand stroking the length of him as the other eased through his loose flaxen hair. My thighs were hopelessly wet, it was an agony not to mount him here and now.

"_Shhh, my love. My heart. Trust me....."_

He would save such consummation for after my hunter's trial, when I would wear the Valaslin upon my flesh. His was beyond beautiful, the lines of his limbs perfectly etched to draw out grace and strength. I touched every fine line of dark ink seared upon his lightly tanned skin, my lips licked and kissed, my teeth nibbling at his thighs, the backs of his knees to hear those heated cries of pleasure rise from his tightened throat. I glanced back once, over my naked shoulder to meet his charged gaze, my fingers easing again beneath the now damp leather of his thong. My hips were poised, my own untouched treasure mere inches from his wet warm lips, my soft leather thong soaked to ruin. The hushed but heated cry that rose from his lips was the only answer I needed and I drew back the wet leather, inhaling our mingled scent, my fingers gripping anew his thickness, marveling at it. Beautiful.

I heard the ripping sound before I felt the frail strip of leather tear away from my hips, leaving myself utterly naked. I am sure I bushed scarlet to my knees, feeling that warm sweet breath rise and further tease the wetness of my loins. I held poised, like some great lioness over her prey, one hand clenching the earth, digging fingertips deep, the soil pushing beneath my fingertips. My free hand tightened fingers and stroked as my lips drew close, pursing to press a kiss to the blood infused head of his manhood, daring a tiny lap of my tongue to taste just at the tip, sneak into that little slit.

He tasted salty and musky, and my tongue dared more, stroking along his length, lapping at his balls before kissing and licking to the tip again. Each moan that fell from his exquisite lips drove me to more intimate acts of pleasure. I wanted my love to know joy. I needed him to know I loved him. My lips gently embraced the head of his manhood and I felt his hot tongue lap at my virgin folds. How I shook, my thighs all trembling, how wet he made me.

I moaned helplessly as he nibbled and lapped at my sopping labia, the tip of that searing tongue finally hitting home upon my clitoris as his lips sucked hard. I held fast to his thick rigid stiffness, stroking with my hand where my lips could not, yet I wanted to feel him throb, taste his need. Gently and with the guidance of a fist in my dark mane, he guided me to a rhythm, sucking and licking, all but gagging as he swelled and thrust. I had tears in my eyes as I shuddered in pleasure, feeling him stiffen and release into my suckling mouth. I shut my eyes tight as the bitterness came, tart, almost bleach like yet I swallowed.

I collapsed, my face buried in his thighs, he was still kissing mine sweetly. I had never heard that the male taste was so bitter. I wondered if such could be changed. I had a lot to learn about sex, but I was ultimately happy, I would brave any bitterness to make _him _happy. Eventually, I felt those sleek muscled strong arms draw me close and I settled into the familiar crook of his shoulder.

"_I love you Sahira."_

"_I love you too Tamlen."_

I was determined however to spike his morning tea with honey in the future.


	12. Chapter 12

_((A/N – Now that the season of Renaissance Faire is over, I can get back to my poor neglected muse. While living as a gypsy I am tickled to return home to find more of you who enjoy her story. Thank you all for reading and don't be shy to read and review. Even request if you like. I plan to add various playful chapters and journal entries to mingle with the main storyline. Bioware owns all Dragon Age goodness.))_

**Chapter 12**

I eased Junar's bow over my shoulder and sighed heavily, uncaring of the flood of tears that now streamed down my face. I felt strong fingers grip my own and did not need to look up to know whose they were. Fenarel. He who always had a cheery smile, was comic relief at just the right moment. Slowly I lifted my red rimmed eyes to his, easily sinking into the warmth of his strong, comforting arms. He had been with me in my search for Tamlen in the cave and saved my life in ways that Duncan and the Keeper could not.

Fenarel had adamantly insisted, no _demanded_ that he accompany myself, and Merrill to search for Tamlen or at the very least Tamlen's remains. I did not wish to bring any of them into danger; I should search myself. I was still a bit weak from illness and frankly frightened of this pain that now surged like fiery poison through my veins.

"_Absolutely not! It is foolish to take a chance on you getting hurt. I am going back alone Fenarel. It does no good to the clan to lose you and Merrill to these, these things..."_

"_Lethallan, he was my best friend, and there is no way I am letting you go alone. You are still sick! We will find Tamlen and you will need help to bring him back to camp!"_

"_The Keeper said only Merrill is to go, and I am not taking her either."_

"_This is not open to an argument, we are going, we **will** find Tamlen, and he will be healed!"_

Feneral gripped my shoulders and shook me, such an intense determination in his eyes. His gaze then softened, the steel embrace of his fingers letting up as his voice gentled.

"_Trust lethallan, you have to trust..."_

_._

_.  
_

So I did. I had to trust my family, my closest friends that we would find Tamlen and heal him. Merrill and Fenarel would have never let me search alone. I felt in my heart it was my fault Tamlen had gone missing. If only I had dragged him away from that damn mirror. If only I insisted that we had returned to the camp before ever stepping foot in that evil cave. If only...

I led the two down the familiar hunting trail, unable to shake the wooziness and rising nausea I felt. The perspiration upon my brow burned like acid, yet I would say nothing. I did not wish for my friends to worry. We needed to focus on finding Tamlen.

"_Are you sure you are alright lethallan? You look pale."_

"_What are you implying?"_

"_Shhh...listen.."_

Feneral lifted his hand in a motion to silence us. We had all heard the snap of a twig, the soft crunch of leaves somewhere before us. Silently and with the unison of a perfectly choreographed dance, arrow shafts eased to bowstrings, the silent whisper of a spell began to shimmer and gather power.

We had made short work of a group, some sort of beast men of the like I had never seen. They were like something out of a nightmare, and it disturbed me profoundly that they were armed. Beasts did not carry swords, nor did they fire arrows. Men did not have fangs or horns. I shuddered as I fought to draw strength into myself.

_'"What do you think those things were, Sahira? The Darkspawn creatures the shemlen spoke of?"_

"_I have no idea, but they are armed. We must take care, there are probably more."_

The thought of my love being captured or killed by these things sent a terror through my heart. That terror easily turned to anger and every single drooling stinking one of them would die if they hurt my Tamlen. We moved further down the path silently, pausing every now and again to listen, to smell the air. Merrill turned to me, gripping my wrist.

"_Do you hear that?"_

"_It's too quiet, the forest is silent."_

"_Yes exactly, something feels wrong."_

"_Tamlen said the said thing. Shh..I can smell them, just up there."_

Silently I lifted my arms my eyes closing as my heart and spirit reached out into the woods, calling out to the spirit of the great bear. The man beasts may have weapons and armor but a full grown very angry bear could do them a world of hurt and quickly. These man beasts that made the forest wrong would pay. I could see in my mind's eye the shaggy head of the great bear lift and turn. It growled in menace. There was a great crashing through the woods as I lowered my arms and urged my friends to silence. The bear would prove a perfect distraction as I laid my traps and bade my time.

Whatever these monsters were, they were not overly cunning. As the great bear tore into their supposed ambush and started it's unrelenting slaughter, we launched our attack. Arrows whizzed through the air to stun a good deal of them as Merrill's magic shot lightening. Those beast men that got through were met with a painful surprise as steel jaws snapped, holding them helpless. I slit their throats with pleasure. Once the fight was over we examined the bodies of these, _things_. Their weapons were inferior but they carried human currency which was disturbing. One of them was considerably larger than the others, and it had cast magic. That was considerably more disturbing. Merrill looked horrified and I had no doubt all three of us were thinking along similar lines. We would not even speak of it.

We happened upon a camp that had not been here the last time I traversed this path. It was fresh, the coals within the circle of stones that made up the fire pit were still warm. I did not think it belonged to the beast men, I did not catch their scent and there were not enough tracks leading away. As I hunkered down into a crouch to examine it more closely I could hear Merrill's whisper.

"_Do you think this is Tamlen's camp?"_

"_No Merrill, this is not an elven camp. Only shemlen leave their fires to smolder where the enemy might find them. No hunter camped here."_

"_Perhaps it is the Grey Warden's then."_

"_Perhaps. Unless he is using the camp as bait, I had thought such great warriors smarter."_

Fenarel chuckled and helped me to cover the embers. If the camp was meant to be bait, where was the Grey Warden? I shrugged it off to more shemlen entering the forest and being stupid. Or someone left in a big hurry. There were no signs of struggle. I dismissed the large forest bear with my thanks. We were close to the cave now and he would not be able to easily maneuver it's narrow passage.

.

.

It was now growing close to dusk as we paused before the great maw of the cave's opening. I took a few minutes to coat the tips of my arrows with poison as Merrill whispered with excited facination. How she could be anything but worried infuriated me but I swallowed down my rage.

"_So this is the cave. I wonder what secrets it holds, if we can recover some of our history here. The Keeper will want to come and examine this."_

"_Could you be any more insensitive? We are here to find Tamlen! As far as I am concerned this cave is damned."_

"_Feneral, Tamlen is most likely..."_

"_Don't you **dare **say it, either of you."_

I hissed between tightly clenched teeth, moving with graceful stealth around a corner of the cave. The cavern reeked of filth and death, the air itself felt ominous and heavy. Merrill whispered in a mix of awe and fear about the Tevinter statuary we passed, the cleverly laid traps meant to spring from an ill placed footfall. I could care less about the history laid to ruin here, my entire focus was finding Tamlen and I forcibly shoved down deep the cold, gnawing terror that there was not the slightest hint he was here. My heart ached with a searing pain I knew would never heal.

We had been able to take the monster men off guard, the stupid things never saw our approach as a murderous rain of poisoned arrows and powerful earth magic dispatched their numbers. I was puzzled as I could hear fighting just up ahead and hurried to the chamber where the mirror was. I gasped to see a shemlen engaging four of the beasts at once, cutting them down as easily as if they had been made of parchment.

"_You? You live! I am pleased to see it. You are the woman I carried from this cave not long ago. I am Duncan, the Grey Warden. How did you know I was here? Did your Keeper send you after me?"_

I coughed, my green eyes wide in surprise at the presumptions this shemlen made. I am sure I sneered. Had it not been for the dire circumstances that found me in this pit, I probably would have thanked the man for saving my life. I was however insane with the need to find my love and it cut to the quick of my being he was not here. The mirror was. I hated that thing, my gaze narrowing into a heated glare.

"_We are not in the habit of following **shemlen** anywhere."_

Feneral smack the back of my hand hard and offered me a withering gaze. Merrill simple shook her head sadly, taking a step closer to the Grey Warden and extending a hand.

"_Aneth ara, Duncan of the Grey Wardens. I am Merrill, and this is Feneral and Sahira. We have not been sent to follow you, we look for our brother Tamlen. Have you come across anything?"_

Aneth ara? She actually used the elven greeting for this shemlen? My glaring eyes swung to Merrill for a fierce spit second before I felt my right knee buckle beneath me. Feneral grasped my upper arm hard to steady me, his blue eyes clearly worried as he helped me to sit upon the cool stone floor. My head was swimming and I felt acid nausea rise with my belly. My forehead stung from the cold sweat beaded there.

"_Well met. Sahira is it? It is good to place a name with a face. You are deathly ill child, how you have survived this long is a testament to your will as well as your Keeper's healing abilities. I am sorry, but I have seen nothing of your clan mate."_

Duncan removed a small linen cloth from a pouch at his waist, wetting it with water from a skin tied to his belt. Cautiously he moved toward me as one would a wounded wild animal, bending his knees to crouch before me. His eyes were kind and compassionate and held no pretense as he placed the cool cloth to my fevered brow.

"_Tell me what happened when you and Tamlen discovered the cave, Sahira. I will be in a better position to help you if I know exactly what transpired."_

"_We came to this room and I told Tamlen to get away from that mirror. He said it called to him and he touched it. I remember nothing after that."_

My voice cracked as I spoke, tears welling hot, stinging my eyes. I must remain strong, fight this pain in my soul and body. I must find Tamlen.

"_Ah yes, this is an ancient Tevinter mirror, often used as a portal. It is most likely you both were made ill by it."_

"_If this thing has hurt my sister and Tamlen then it must be destroyed at once Grey Warden!"_

Feneral was clearly infused with anger as he spoke, yet a gentle hand eased fingers through the long strands of my hair, stroking soothingly.

"_I could not agree more, young man."_

"_Wait, we should study this mirror, or bring the Keeper here, what if it holds some of our history?"_

Merrill cried out, moving swiftly to stay the Grey Warden's hand before he could draw his sword.

"_Are you out of your ever loving mind Merrill? Hasn't this evil thing caused enough pain? Stand back!"_

Feneral yelled at Merrill and she reluctantly retreated. It ever amazed me that she and the Keeper would have the fortitude to still seek ancient wisdom and histories of our people even when lives were at stake. I supposed it was the burden of their roles in the camp, the weight of preserving and seeking out our lost heritage. For now, none of it mattered to me. I was driven by a single purpose, find Tamlen and kill anything that stood in the way of that goal.

Duncan easily smashed the mirror with a single shattering blow of his sword, a dark mist rising to swirl to the damp stone ceiling of the chamber. My voice felt scratchy and weak as I rose to my feet, trying to suppress a shudder of pain.

"_We must find Tamlen..."_

"_He is not here child, nor will you find him. I know this is hard to hear and harder to bear, but we must get you back to camp."_

"_NO! I am **not** leaving without Tamlen or his remains. I am not leaving if I must search this place for a year! I **will** find him!"_

I snarled at Duncan my flashing green eyes daring him to stop me as I stumbled forward and shrugged the bow from my shoulder. I could feel Feneral's hand on my shoulder, his murmur soft in my ear as my pulse positively roared through my veins. Firmly Duncan spoke, unmoved by my rage and anguish as I supposed he must have had to be.

"_Sahira, you will die if you remain or worse. I insist you come back now with me. Tamlen is not here, I am sorry. Would you have your clan mourn two of their own?"_

It was Feneral's turn to explain the whole of things as he restrained me from leaping upon the shemlen and ripping his throat out with my bare hands. I shook with raw rage, beyond thought or speech.

"_Warden, you do not understand. Tamlen was not only her clan mate. He was her beloved, her betrothed. Let me handle this while you lead Merrill from the cave safely. Give us but a few moments, please?"_

Something softened in Duncan's gaze and he nodded his consent, not that Feneral would have cared for it or not. In silence he gently led Merrill out of the ruined chamber, explaining in whispers why the Keeper's magic could not possibly offer me a cure. They spoke of fighting the man beasts which he called darkspawn, the human asking precise questions about my fighting tactics. Merrill shared much with him, telling him of my hunting ability and my place among the clan.

.

.

The strength of Feneral's arms about me loosened a bit and he turned me gently, pouring into me all that strength as I threw back my head and screamed my anguish to the Gods. Deep within me I knew I was dying and a part of me wished to if I could not save Tamlen. If the taint in my body did not kill me the guilt of not forcing him from the damn mirror would fester and slowly eat me alive from the inside out. My clenched fists pounded against Feneral's chest as I howled and screeched my pain.

"_Abelas, lethallan, abelas..."_

Feneral never once told me not to search, his arm about my shoulder as I tried to stumble about the rubble and broken dark glass. I eventually exhausted myself, collapsing into his arms, my body no longer able to fight.

.

.

Tenderly he carried me from that cave, speaking to me in whispers that he would care for me, provide, step into his best friend's place. He confided his feelings when he thought me completely unconscious, that he had set aside his own passion when he saw how I looked at Tamlen. He would place away his own happiness so that his best friends would know love. His happiness would be experienced through my happiness and now that I was torn asunder he would be the one to be anything and everything I needed.

Because he loved me.

Should the day come that my heart would mend, he would be there for that too.

.

.

As I stood before this man, I cupped his cheek and pressed the softest of kisses to his lips. If my heart would ever have the capacity to heal I suppose I could come to love him more than a brother. Such thoughts were impossible and it pained me deeply to look into those sad blue eyes. My purpose was clear now that I was to be a Grey Warden. My heart held only rage for darkspawn and I would spend my life in pursuit of justice for what these dark things had done to my love and my clan. If there was anything left after that, well then I would take the time to tend myself.

I left the best part of my heart with those who looked after me. Duncan said nothing as his hand found the small of my back, gently guiding me away from all I had ever known. I swore I would do them all proud with everything in me.

A tug at edge of my tunic gave me pause, the grubby hand of a child placing a single fragile flower into my calloused hand. Yes for her I would fight and I would win. Would she ever know that single precious gift would be my hope in the days to follow.


	13. Chapter 13

_((A/N – Thanks to all of you for the welcome back and reviews. I take a lot of liberties with lore, you have been warned. The story will jump around a bit from various characters points of view and actual journal entries from Sahira's diary. Your feedback is welcomed and cherished. Bioware owns all Dragon Age goodness.))_

** On Dalish Chapter 13**

_ ((Duncan))_

It has been a few days now since we have left the Dalish camp. I must note that it has been one surprise after another since making the acquaintance of my new recruit. Most everything I have ever heard about the Dalish elves has been proven wrong. They are not bandits that seek to slit the throats of humans we so often hear of. They do not have blood rites to their gods in which young men are sacrificed. If anything, their rites are beautiful and meaningful, for I have had the good fortune to be allowed to observe a newborn child be officially brought within the family of the clan.

It was the night before we left, and I had been speaking at length with the young hunter that accompanied Sahira to the cave. I was lucky to be granted an audience with the man seeing that he rarely left the woman's side. I was taken aback by his forthright demeanor, his open position to speak with me about her, the ardent love she held for the Dalish. It was not without warning to be sure. He did pledge to hunt me down personally should he discover that any would dare disrespect her or cause her harm. It was obvious to me that this dark haired huntress was esteemed among her people. I wished to know more, but seeing she was asleep at the moment, the young man would have to satisfy my curiosity.

I have learned in my brief time here that Dalish hunters carry an extraordinary respect for the care of weapons. It was with this in mind that I approached the lithe muscled hunter as he held a vigil before the aravel where Sahira slept. He looked worried as I approached, but there was no malice in his manner, no hatred in his eyes as he glanced up from his fletching of new arrows and beckoned me to sit beside him.

"_Andaran atish'an, Duncan. I must thank you again for your patience. Sahira is a bit of a passionate being. I am sure she will apologize for her abrupt behavior once she is up and around again."_

"_No apology needed Fenarel, and thank you for welcoming me to your fire. How does she fare?"_

"_She rests, at long last. I pray to the Gods they give her peace as she dreams. If she is to be among your order, I would suspect she needs all her strength?"_

There was a bitter sorrow to his tone, the sharp edge of the knife cutting a bit deeper and harsher along the slender wood shafts he worked. I withdrew a small whetstone and vial of oil from my waist pack, balancing the stone on my knees. Fenarel provided a clean cloth and I set to dampening the stone with oil, withdrawing one of my daggers.

"_Indeed she will, but I trust from what I have witnessed so far, strength is not a problem for her. Please accept my condolences again on your loss as well as, hers. I understand she is important to you, your clan."_

"_That is an understatement Duncan. Were she not to leave the clan I would join with her, if nothing else to ensure my best friend's wishes would be honored. I cannot claim to be that unselfish. She is the best of us. You do know who she is yes, the daughter of the last Keeper? You take more than a skilled hunter with you to this Blight. You take what so many of us consider the heart of this clan."_

I slowly dragged the cutting edge of my blade over the glistening oiled whetstone, my wrist turning rhythmically as I felt the admiring glance from the elf as he spied my weapon. It was easier to speak freely when sharing the common ground of weapons and our respect of them as each of us meticulously tended our own.

"_I was not aware of that Fenarel, I had heard that she was adopted after.."_

"_Yes, that is why she cannot be Keeper. Make no mistake, though, she will lead. It is in her blood."_

I simply nodded. The young huntress had led both this young man and what I understood to be the Keeper's apprentice to the cave that early evening. The same eve I painfully had to tell her of her lover's demise. My blade's edge scraped to and fro over the oiled stone again, and I glanced to the elf.

"_Many candles illuminate the camp this night. Is this some ceremony my friend?"_

Fenarel chuckled as he lay down the finished shafts of dark wood, and the small knife eased into a sheath at his side. The elf's gaze grew a bit melancholy and tender as he glanced out about the camp, bathed in the glow of golden candlelight. His lips had pursed thoughtfully before he spoke.

"_Yes, there is to be a ceremony, to welcome new life among the clan. We believe life springs from death. Tonight we honor a new life as Tamlen gave his. The young mother, came to us not long ago, heavy with child. It was Tamlen that led them to our camp. It is only fitting her babe now born be welcomed formally into the Dalish. Come, the ceremony is to begin shortly."_

To say I was awestruck at the spectacle that gracefully unwound before me would be an injustice. I cannot find the proper words to describe the beauty of the event, the kindness and warmth. Feneral and I set aside our crafting tools and approached the gathering mass of elves circling the precise center of the camp. Each held a white candle and children laughed as they spirited about the circle, carelessly tossing pink wildflowers in their wake. I drew a breath as Marethari the Keeper strode to stand between two seemingly ancient statues. Power and grace emanated from this timeless woman, her lips curved into a little smile that bespoke hope and joy. She was dressed, not, in the usual garments of a Keeper's robes but something far more ancient, organic and wild.

The air about me seemed to thicken, grow heavy as a lot of drummers began to hammer out an ancient and timeless rhythm. The softly tanned deerskin shimmered about the Keeper as her arms rose, palms upwards, her face tilted to drink the light of the crescent of the risen moon. Merrill, her chosen, began to chant in deep, dulcet tones. I took in the tiny details of Marethari's dress, the bits of feathers and bone that were woven within the long fringe that poured down to her feet. Symbols as old as time itself were painted in kaddis and herbs upon the bodice and sleeves. I found myself wondering what the property was that allowed the paint to shine ever so subtlety in the moonlight.

"_Come among your family mother, come bring the child who would be blessed by the Creators. Let us embrace our new kin and welcome you home."_

I was sure my mouth was hanging wide open as Fenarel translated the Keeper's words, my gaze immediately drawn to the young elven woman stepping from an aravel. She also was dressed in roughly tanned deerskin, her baby daughter left naked save the graceful markings that caressed her brow, belly and limbs. From what I could see in the ambient light of the camp, those markings seemed to be of blood and an herb I could smell but I could not recall it's exact note.

"_I thank the Gods for guiding my steps home, Hahren. I thank the hunter that led me home and that the life of my beloved daughter is to honor the one who now rests in the earth. I offer my gratitude and thanks. We are the Dalish: keepers of the lost lore, walkers of the lonely path. We are the last of the Elvhenan, and never again shall we submit."_

This woman wrapped in deer skins could not have been more than nineteen; her baby cradled to her chest. I could see the gleam of fresh tears in her eyes as she held out her newborn daughter to the Keeper for blessing. The elder woman's hand extended over the brow of the babe, words in the Dalish speech I could not comprehend, but I interpreted them as a blessing. A wreath of purple wildflowers was placed over the baby's forehead, the child kissed by the Keeper thrice. A chorus of song rose from the gathered children, their voices sweet, like virgin flutes to amplify the moonlit night.

* * *

"_Wait..."_

All singing stopped in that moment, each gaze shifting to focus on the weak but determined form of a dark haired elven woman. Her fingers gripped the curtain of the aravel tightly, the brief leather tunic that adorned her, damp with perspiration as it hung from her slender shoulders. Her knuckles were white with her obvious pain and toil, yet she clamored down the few stairs despite herself.

Fenarel was swift as he left my side to rush to hers, curving an arm around her shoulders, easing her bare feet to the steady earth. His lips were at her ear, whispering softly before kissing her cheek. I could just make out her slender fingers sliding between his for comfort and strength. The intensity of her green eyes lifted to gaze upon the child, the new Dalish, new kin. The smile that crossed her lips seemed to light up her whole face, pale, as it was from fever and pain. Her free hand crooked a finger, her head canting to tease those thick strands of hair to waft her hip.

"_Aneth ara, little sister. How blessed I am that Andruil guided your mother to us."_

The young elven mother drew towards the pale huntress, shocked the woman would emerge from her sick bed to greet her child into the clan. The young mother cast her gaze down in respect as she offered her babe to Sahira's arms. Tenderly the sick huntress drew the infant close, and smiled into her tiny upturned face.

"_Vir sulahn'nehn,  
Vir dirthera,  
Vir samahl la numin,  
Vir lath sa'vunin."_

The newborn cooed reaching a chubby hand to entwine fingers in Sahira's long hair.

"_Ma sernannas, Mamae."_

Sahira smiled, easing the crooning baby back into her mother's arms. I could not restrain my tears as I watched, and now perfectly understood why she was remarkable. This woman had heart even when hers was shattered. Fenarel gently guided Sahira to rest on a thick wolf fur by the fire, passing her a skin of fresh, chilly water.

The elven mother withdrew, clearly flushed, her cheekbones luminous even in the muted cadence of firelight and candles. Quietly she retreated to the Keeper to whisper. A broad grin spread over the Keeper's face, and she cleared her throat for the clan's attention.

"_Our newest has been named. Tamdreal. May she honor the legacy of Tamlen's bravery as a warrior and hunter and the grace of the Goddess she is named for."_

There were cheers amongst the gathering of elves, music flooding the air with an infectious joy. I found my way over to where Sahira sat with Fenarel and a few others who seemed to be close to her. She seemed relaxed, yet there was a tightness around her eyes. I am not sure if this were from physical pain or apprehension of our journey tomorrow. I would make a point of asking Marethari for the herbs and tonics used to heal Sahira. It would be no cure to be certain, but it would give her strength for the trip. I glanced up with a smile as I watched the young woman offer me a platter of fresh fruits.

"_Ma sernannas, Duncan."_

Her expressive gaze spoke more than her words; she was thanking me for her life in her way. I found myself looking forward to the trip to Ostagar and learning more about this intriguing person. I knew I had made the right decision in recruiting her.


	14. Chapter 14

_((A/N - Story jumps from various points of view. I hope each is clear for you readers. Holler at me if it is not. Bioware owns all the Dragon Age goodness, Sahira's mind is my own. Blessings to my readers as always.))_

**Chapter 14**

_**((Sahira))**_

_**Journal Entry, Spring, Waxing Hare Moon**_

It has only been about a week since we left my home, and I feel the sharp blade of missing those I love as keenly as I did the day I said goodbye. The shemlen Duncan seems to be a kind man, not at all as offensive as I had heard humans were. He has not peppered me with questions as I presumed he would, nor has his conduct been anything but polite. If Tamlen were here I am sure he would instruct me to be weary nonetheless, but the honesty in this man's dark eyes are genuine and authentic. We are the only two in this party to journey to Ostagar, so I suspect it is best to trust him, for the time being.

I do notice that he likes to watch me write in this journal. I suppose most Dalish never take the time to learn to read or write; we have storytellers and keepers for that. Most Dalish never think to ever travel among human settlements. Why would we? I am glad I asked Paivel to teach me to read and write, I find much pleasure in writing my thoughts, leaving a written history for another to learn. If, nothing else I have at least seventy five pages devoted to herb lore and poisons alone. I think it was this accumulation of study that caught Duncan's interest in this journal.

I had been pressing several dried herbs upon a blank page when I heard the man's approach behind me. I smiled as he drew closer and I motioned for him to take a seat beside me before the snap and crackle of the camp fire. He was always so careful around me, this man. While I appreciated the sentiment, there was no need to walk on eggshells for my sake. He held a taut rounded skin in his hands, which I glimpsed at curiously.

"_Andaran atish'an, Duncan. Have you brought water?"_

"_No, not water Sahira. I thought we might share a bit of wine together before we reach Ostagar. If, I have this on me when we arrive I am afraid the others will jump me."_

"_Jump you Duncan? Are the provisions at Ostagar that horrible? I would think your King would have the very best."_

"_Best for him and his favorites I suppose, but even that goes quickly. I think you will enjoy this. I had procured it from an Antivian merchant in Denerim before I came to your camp."_

"_I would be happy to share your wine Duncan, thank you. I know I have not been the most pleasant company. Abelas. Um, I mean I am sorry."_

"_Nothing to apologize for my dear. We are so foreign to one another. I know so little of Dalish elves, and you have never met a human not stilled by your arrows. The wine is but a means to correct that."_

I shrugged my shoulders and watched as Duncan grasped the cork of the skin with his fingers, easily prying it off with a distinctively popping sound. He offered it to me, and I took the skin gingerly. I sniffed at the narrow mouth of the wineskin and chuckled. This was hardly as strong as the spirits we fermented from wild honey. I would have to share some with him. It was easy enough to make; there was wild honeycomb everywhere.

"_So this is fine Antivan wine? Is it watered down? Our stock of honeywine is probably fifty times more potent. I could show you how to make it if you like."_

"_All I need is a bunch of drunken troops staggering before Loghain, the King's general. Take a sip, tell me what you think."_

I shrugged again and took a sizable long swig of wine, and found it dry and fruity upon my tongue. I took another gulp, licking my lips before passing the skin back to Duncan. He looked rather surprised, watching my face for some reaction before taking a draught himself. His eyes seemed fixated upon my lips for a long moment, and I quickly looked down to the open journal in my lap.

"_The wine is very tasty. It's a bit dry compared to what we make for celebrations. Then again we do not always have the luxury of fermenting grapes unless they grow wild. Cultivating crops is not a Dalish strong point."_

"_So I can imagine. Yet the honeyed drink you make is quite fine and very strong. May I ask you something Sahira?"_

"_Of course Duncan, ask away."_

I slowly lifted my gaze to his, noting his flushed cheeks. I felt badly that this kind man would feel so uncomfortable around me, and hoped that my answering his questions would soothe him. The wineskin found it's way back into my hand, and I sipped more gracefully this time.

"_What are the plants you keep in your journal? Do most hunters of the Dalish collect herbs?"_

"_Do you wish the long version or the short, ser? I have close to a hundred pages written about herbs, poisons and where to find each. Granted most are for healing and cooking, but I do like to utilize traps and thrown bombs against the enemy when needed."_

"_You did not answer my question, my dear."_

"_No, I suppose I did not. No, most hunters among the Dalish do not study herbs as I do. I find it facinating and of a worthy purpose. If I can hunt, why not heal as well?"_

My slender fingers touched the worn, rough skin of his own as I passed the skin back. I waited for him to drink before pointing to the green, dried leaves of the herbs I had just pressed into my journal. He recognized them at once but arched a brow at their combination with toxins. I could feel the colour in my own tanned cheeks heat from the heady drink and I grinned.

"_Do humans not enact the art of deception among their enemies, my dear shemlen?"_

"_That is the first time you have called me such Sahira."_

"_I mean no insult, Duncan, I am merely teasing you. I am curious though. How much do humans know about herbs and their uses in combat?"_

"_Plenty. Your cheeks and nose are red from drink. And yet I cannot pry the secrets of Dalish herb lore from you."_

My gaze softened as he spoke, all but slurring his words. Shemlen could not hold their liquor that was for sure. I felt pleasantly warm and peaceful, the hum of life around me amplified.

"_It is merely the sun's kiss upon my skin. If you wish to learn the herbs I write about then watch."_

_

* * *

_

_**((Duncan))**_

This past week I have taken pains not to disturb this lovely, wild girl. Instead, I have observed her as she hunts with complete stealth and poise. To view this seemingly fragile creature pad barefoot among the trees with nary a sound is breathtaking to behold. The bowstring makes no sound as it is drawn taut and notched with an arrow. Her green eyes narrow just a bit as she takes aim and I would swear they gleam in the heightened rush of the hunt. It is to study pure and natural grace to see the arrow loose upon it's target and mercifully take life swiftly, to the jugular. No pain.

She then kneels and murmurs to the sky with her head thrown back, eyes tightly shut. I presume she prays and thanks her Goddess, the one of the hunt I know she reveres. Our own troops at Ostagar could learn a thing or two from her. None move as quietly nor blend within the shadows with such ease. What puzzles me about her is that she picks every single herb she sees. Weeds she will seize and hug to her chest with glee. I am not allowed to discard any carcass without her skinning it "properly", and allowing her to pluck the sinew to preserve. She wastes nothing. Even the claws and teeth of a bear and wolf she saves.

Then she writes, in a fever, she writes in that thick book that is stained with herbs. I can feel the pain of loss that radiates about her. I feel a bit responsible for that, for I know that extent of hurt. She lost her lover. At her tender age, I can hardly comprehend what that feels like anymore. I made myself forget. I can be sympathetic however; I too have felt such a loss several times. I do not think she has any inclination of the spell she weaves when in motion, or offering a smile. Maker help Ostagar. Allistar is a goner as is Cailan.

I find myself feeling quite protective of this exotic woman. She has been utterly untouched by human politics and cares. It will be an absolute shame to strip that innocence from her, but duty demands such. If I should fall in the next skirmish against the darkspawn, I fear she is the only recruit I have to lead in my place. She must have the savvy to go head to head with nobility despite her Dalish roots. She must have the fortitude to lead, which I trust she does. She could have chosen to stay with her clan, yet she had stated _this_ was her duty. To join an unknown human that saved her life to fight tens of thousands of monsters. It is no wonder many men of her clan looked upon her with adoring eyes. I find my own eyes softening in warmth to gaze upon her.

I thought to break the ice a bit, offering the lass some well aged Antivan wine. As luck would have it, she was carefully pressing herbs into her journal again. I hoped the wine would loosen her tongue and reveal a few closely guarded secrets. Her face flushed prettily enough, yet her mind was still sound as she bantered back with me. All I could think of was poor Allistar. She holds wiles she was wholly unaware of, and those are the most potent. I hope she can see his vulnerability and have mercy on the poor lad. There is no warning I can offer him save blinders. This wild and barefoot woman takes no flack and stands her ground. She does so with grace. She has a compassion for everything that breathes.

"_I watch Sahira, yet I would know the names of the herbs you, so lovingly place upon pages."_

"_Herbs are not so complicated Duncan. I do not know what you have been taught. This is simple elfroot and deathroot. When combined with toxin it makes for a potent bomb or a nasty poison upon a trap. You could even dip your daggers in such a mixture. It would slow the enemy and quicken their death."_

"_The Grey Wardens are fortunate indeed to have such expertise. I am glad you are on our side my dear."_

Sahira blushed beautifully, roses blooming wild upon her tanned cheeks. I felt her fingers guide the wineskin to my hand, and I lifted it to drink again. She only grinned at me, dimples creasing each cheeks. Her insistent fingers grabbed the dwindling skin from my grasp, and she took another sip.

"_I have a story of herbs and drink Duncan. I found it amusing. Perhaps you might as well."_

How could I refuse? As the fair huntress made short work of the dwindling wineskin, I set about for another as I smiled. The ice would be broken after all.


	15. Chapter 15

_((A/N - Thank you to Rhayader for the beta test. Your love is my inspiration to write. Thank you to those that have reviewed, I take all to heart. To my subscribers, thank you, there would be no heart without your pulse. Inspiration was derived from Neil _Young "Harvest Moon" and Evanescence "Good Enough". Reviews feed my muse. I love you all. FN))

**Chapter 15**

_((Sahira))_

**Journal Entry - Spring - Waxing Hare Moon – Daybreak**

Soon the moon will be full and bring with its light, hope. I sit here in the morning's cool mist, trying not to wake my traveling companion as he snores gently upon my lap. It is rather curious how that happened. We had been drinking his expensive wine and sharing stories of better times, carefree times before this Blight. I think more had been expressed in what was not spoken aloud, or perhaps humans simply do not learn to read body language as elves do. As proud and dignified as Duncan appears to be, there is a part that screams in pain deep within him. I can identify with that pain well, I carry my own.

As the wineskin grew thinner, so did any defenses that may have been poised. Duncan's shoulders visibly relaxed and his back was not held as stringent as usual. He had let his dark hair loose from it's accustomed tight ponytail and the drawn lines around his eyes eased to those of laughter. I sense that this man does not ordinarily allow many to see him with his guard down. I imagine it must be rare he take the opportunity. When was the last time he truly laughed? I recalled the evening before with great fondness.

"_Duncan you are smiling. I shall have to make a bold note within my journal to document this rare event."_

"_What don't you jot down in that book of yours? Never have I seen such a complete documentation of herbs including their historical uses. It was kind of you to share such with me, my dear. I must be honest though, the story of Pol's unofficial initiation into your Dalish clan does leave me a bit unnerved."_

I laughed as I nudged his shoulder and handed him the dwindling wineskin.

"_A rogue with your talent would surely sense me coming before I ever drew near your sleeping furs to slip the itching herbs within. Well perhaps not, given the amount of wine you can imbibe. Pol had been uptight around the clan and he had to loosen up, know we accepted him. What is a little itching between family?"_

His smile deepened, drawing a sparkle to his rich, brown eyes. It was a refreshing change from the aura of loneliness that perpetually radiated about this man. I could not understand why. He was certainly handsome for a human, polite and unquestionably intelligent. I am sure the wine made my tongue all that more bold.

"_You never did acknowledge my first statement, ser. What makes you smile and laugh so easily besides good wine? This almost seems out of character for you. Is it that we will be at Ostagar tomorrow and among your fellowship again?"_

"_Not at all my dear. Not that I am "not" looking forward to being among the others again. Would you deny an old man the rare pleasure of being in a woman's company that is not cloying and manipulative? I am enjoying the time I can engage in conversation that is not about battle strategies, or darkspawn. It has been an age it seems, since I have done so."_

I chuckled softly as I smiled at him. I felt my gaze soften a bit as I watched his face, taking a mental snapshot of a moment that was so uncommon. I brushed an unruly strand of hair from his cheek without a single thought, my fingers smoothing it to wave in place with the others. He really should wear his hair down more often.

"_Old man? Hardly. You give me quite the workout when we spar, physically as well as verbally. You are a vital and witty man, Duncan. I thank you for making this journey less painful than it could have been. I am grateful too, for your compassion. I had not expected my commander to tolerate my weeping in the wee hours."_

"_I would be a cruel man to deny you, your grief my dear. It is something I understand well. I can see why he loved you so, why so many do. We all weep in the wee hours, in our own way. To not do so means a loss of heart. Would it be terrible of me to say I take some small comfort in the strength of yours?"_

His voice grew considerably more quiet and gentle, those almond shaped eyes exposing a deep vulnerability and trust. Perhaps he held himself so rigidly because he had hurt so deeply, suffered a loss as great as my own. I could feel the ache for solace within his searching gaze, the exact ache I carried. In this time of sharing wine and stories, the social barriers of elf and human did not exist. We were just two beings who were soul weary and frightened. If we were to be totally honest with ourselves, neither of us wanted to perish despite our claims of duty. If one were to dig deep beyond the illusions we tell ourselves, we all instinctively wished to live.

"_Comfort is a rare thing, lethallin. I think we must draw strength from each other. Once we are at Ostagar, you will become the commander, putting the needs of everyone before yourself. You will have no time to speak of anything but war. If my company is a comfort to you, I am glad Duncan."_

I had wished to say more, state that I wanted to chase away some of the sad shadows that reflected in his eyes, give a moment's peace to his wounded heart. It was not about speaking, however, and the wineskin he once held was dropped to the soft grass at his feet. Strong arms enveloped me close, drawing me into a warmth I knew was rare. Gently, my eyes shut as my own arms reached to encircle this tender, yet strong man. I would be lying if I said I did not take comfort and pleasure in being held, as I embraced him, hearing his intake of breath as he breathed in my scent.

* * *

_**((Duncan))**_

I cannot even describe the soaring joy I felt to gather this beautiful and precious woman into my arms. The crush of her soft, smooth skin stirred dangerous desires, and I physically shook to restrain myself. It was that feminine pliancy I have so craved for many a year. Tender and warm, and oh to inhale that headiness of fresh flowers and supple, polished leather! My grip tightened about her back and waist, I must have more, she _must_ be brought closer.

This was completely inappropriate. I would dare tread on the ground offered to me in perfect trust, her own heart is so open and vulnerable. No, what I needed from her was so far beyond the mere sexual, not that I would have denied it. I have never been very good at denying my physical urges. The gentle touch that swept over my rough cheek, the arms that wound tight about my waist sought a peace deeper than sex.

Had this been another time and place, I would have her on all levels. Our time is not long, I know this. The Calling is just that close. I need her to take my place. Tonight, I need her in my arms, to live all that this fight is worth. I love her in this moment.

"_You are more than comfort, my dear. You are an inspiration and hope, for me, this night."_

And you are so very beautiful, a harbor in a storm you have not yet met. Forgive me for taking shelter in such now, I know I will not have another chance. You are every gentle touch I have ever felt, and every caress and soothing gaze. Your scent is the sweetness I will carry to my final thoughts in this world and that I have loved at all, is ever emblazoned in the tenderness within your green eyed gaze.

"_Duncan, are you alright?"_

I could feel the hitch in her chest as she breathed out the soft spoken query, smell the salt in her tears that etched down her wine flushed cheeks. My fingers trailed down the length of that thick, soft hair, my fingers digging deeper into lush lengths. I cradled her head as her lips brushed my shoulder. I could then release the years of excruciating pain into the soft warmth of her neck. Years of swallowing bitterness and stifling down agony, being immeasurably strong, the commander to all. I was not commander here I was just _with _her, and she knew. She knew my pain and I can shed the armor for a night and weep in her warm, accepting embrace.

She whispered in Dalish, her language made all the more beautiful for the soft kisses pressed to my heated brow. My arms tightened about her as I fought to find my hoarse voice.

"_Yes, Sahira, I am alright. Please do not..."_

"_Never Duncan. Shhh. Let the peace of the night dictate this dance."_

She had the grace of silence, and simply held me to the lithe warmth of her body. Her slender arms tightened about me and I knew she too took relief and solace as well. We did not need to speak of details, we had both loved and lost, painfully. There were so many things I wished to tell her, how she resembled the lovely one I had loved, yet held none of her malice or deception. All that mattered to me in my heightened stupor was those cool soft hands easing slender fingers though my hair. Soft murmurs of sweet comfort that was a melody I would carry to my last moments upon this world. Her lap was warm and inviting, soft skin that smelled of a woman's sweet musk, forest and freedom. I would dream upon her tanned thighs. I poured my hopes and dreams into her as I kissed the tawny lengths of those thighs. Maker help me.

* * *

_**((Sahira))**_

How could I not be deeply touched by the silent admissions of a man upon the brink of war? I smoothed that thick length of handsome dark hair to soothe him. Such an act was peace to me as I watched his face in the throes of dreams. What did the Beyond offer him? I hoped something soft and warm, enduring and loving. I sensed something in him, deep and heavy. I knew what it was in my gut but I would not accept such yet. No. I would be this man's comfort until he drew his last breath, I owed him that. We owed each other that. As he dreamed in the Beyond I dared a feather soft and chaste kiss to his full lips. Tomorrow all would change.


	16. Chapter 16

_((A/N – I would like to acknowledge all of you who take the time to share your thoughts with me. I take to heart all of your comments. With any art form, the artist is only as good as those who view the art. I am deeply moved that what I try and express here, is perceived as I envision it and encouraged. I believe that helps me to be a better writer, fueled by your thoughts and honesty. I would also like to thank those within the Deviant Art community who offer me an endless array of inspiration. For my husband, thank you for kicking my ass when I get all whiny with writer's block, and for the beta. Namaste.))_

**Chapter 16**

_**((Sahira))**_

_**Journal Entry – Spring - Full Moon of **__**Ghilan'nain - Ostagar**_

It was not as if Duncan did not warn me first, in fact he chided me with that "I told you so" grin I have come to know pretty well. I scowled, as my bare feet flinched over the horribly rough stone of the bridge that led to Ostagar. The flooring in the cave I had explored near my home had been kinder than this, texture, that would make a cat's tongue seem satiny.

Duncan planted his fists on his hips and obnoxiously tapped his right foot with mock impatience as he waited for me to pull my boots on. Gah! The damn things cut off all sensory feeling in my feet! How was I to hunt these darkspawn or anything else without the use of all my senses? I took the opportunity to hurl a sharp yet small stone to bounce off the glinting armor of Duncan's chest, hearing a satisfying "ping". He chuckled at me and offered a hand to help me up. I wondered if he knew I had kissed him, albeit chastely, the previous eve? While he never mentioned it, something within the warmth of his dark eyed gaze said that he did, if even as a fading dream.

"_I should probably tell you now Sahira, most people here are not used to elves bearing weapons. There are a number of them that work as servants."_

"_Not used to elves having weapons? Why ever not? Have your "citified" elves lost the right to defend themselves as well as a place to call home, well other than a stinking slum?"_

"_Well, yes, in a sense they have. I am just trying to warn you beforehand should anyone question your status here. The King's general, for example, is not exactly warm towards elves as I have observed. In fact I would bet not many know much about your people. Keep it in mind in case someone says something, unscrupulous."_

"_If the King depends on all races to defend him in this fight, why does he employ a closed minded general at all?"_

"_That my dear, is a long story for another day. Come now, we have much to do once you are settled in. There is the matter of your cure and procuring the items for the ritual."_

"_What ritual? What does this ritual entail? Duncan, I swear by Fen'Harel's furry balls I will poison your tea myself unless you speak straight with me now!"_

I fumed, my face flushing scarlet with the swelling anger I felt roar within my belly. If not for the herbs I ingested three times a day, I would be horrifically sick and weak. I still felt the burning pulse of darkspawn filth through my veins, and was more than eager to get on with this cure he had promised. Now I had to endure some ritual? I scoffed, casting the man an incredulous gaze. I had been more than patient, I wanted answers and I wanted them _now_.

"_As much as I would like to accommodate you my dear, the ritual is kept secret for a reason. I ask you to trust me in this. All will be revealed when you need to know. The ritual is what will make you a Grey Warden."_

The soul searching look that met my angry gaze at once softened my heart. I had no reason not to trust him. Duncan had always been open and sincere with me, sharing with me more than I suspect he had with the other recruits. He treated me as a friend, an equal. It would be unfair to treat him as anything less.

"_Very well Duncan. I trust you. I would never poison your tea anyway."_

"_I know, my dear."_

"_You would say that. Now fill me in on who I need to know here and who I should avoid."_

_**((Duncan))**_

If this spirited woman could harness the rage she felt for her illness, all that had been cruelly taken from her, against the darkspawn we may not need Orlesian forces after all. I had to chuckle to watch her size up Cailan, her green eyes squinting against the glare of his polished golden armor. Despite the fact that he towered over her by at least two feet and was King, Sahira insisted on asking questions about the current state of affairs, remarking on the fact he seemed overconfident and knew nothing about her clan. Cailan's attempt at an apology was awkward even for him as he stammered like a blushing youngster, yet his grey eyes shone mesmerized. Like father like son I suppose. This was no silver tongued bard I had recruited however. It would be amusing to watch the King try and seduce the wild nymph of the forest.

"_Feel free to explore the camp as you will. I have a few meetings to attend to and will join you all later for the evening meal. We will speak more of your cure then."_

"_Very well, Duncan. I apologize for taking your head off earlier. This illness wears thin on my nerves. Please tell me this Cailan is not organizing the attack. I am sure he is a lovely King and all, but I have my doubts as to his aptitude in the staging of warfare."_

"_No no, Sahira. Cailan is not the brains behind the coming battle, his general is seeing to the orchestration of the coming battle with assistance from the mages; and us of course. Go see about some armor if it pleases you and see if you can scare up Alistair, one of the wardens. If you run into the other two recruits, send them to my tent please."_

"_Sure thing Duncan. Thanks for understanding."_

I laid a reassuring hand upon her bare shoulder which was sticky with toxic sweat.

"_I promise this pain will be over soon."_

I was not looking forward to hearing the King and Loghain argue for hours on end about strategy. It was as much a necessary evil as listening to the revered mother of the Chantry complain about the hazards of having mages on the battlefield. I rubbed my temples with my fingers before entering the tent where I was certain my already throbbing headache would only worsen.

_**((Sahira))**_

Ostagar was a lot to take in at once. Everything was walled in and the smell of men's sweat, and animal feces was overwhelming. I had to leave my boots on as there was little grass here to walk upon. People left arms and armor just laying around in sacks and battered chests which seemed incredibly wasteful to me. As for fresh herbs, a few stalks of elfroot and deathroot managed to squeeze between the cracks of the rough stone. I was disheartened to hear that I was not allowed to travel beyond the gates, and that of course only aggravated my irritation.

Everyone stared at me as if I had horns or something. Even the other elves I had seen scurrying by blanched when they saw me. When I had tried to engage one woman in conversation, she went pale and said something about being switched if caught idly talking. Not that there were many women here. More than once I had seen a female elf groped from behind, and I understood some of the fear that glistened in their eyes. I would make a point to learn more about these city elves. So far their life seemed absolutely miserable.

The heat of the day was doing nothing for my disposition or the fact I was feeling ill. The stench in this fortress was heightened, and I was finding most folks here unfriendly. I had managed to glean a little information about Ostagar's history, that it was Tevinter and the lower chambers had yet to be explored.

My spirits lifted a bit when one of the guards called me over and welcomed me. He handed me a skin of cool water and was happy to answer my questions. He was kind enough to offer me directions to the quartermaster for armor and explained something about the dogs the King kept penned up here. No wonder it stunk here if they kept their animals trapped in pens. At least the halla had the choice to roam or stay as they wished.

After getting scolded by the templars for merely asking a question about their mages, I found myself in the company of a nice woman who did not stare or treat me as something to be feared. She was older than most I had encountered so far, and had kind blue eyes. She reminded me a bit of Ashalle.

"_Why are those mages kept in a pen like the poor dogs? Do humans not revere those with magic?"_

"_Ah, you must be Duncan's new recruit. Congratulations young lady, it is not easy to impress Duncan. My name is Wynne, I am a senior mage from the Circle of Magi. To answer your question, those mages are in the Fade at the moment. I assure you they are not kept as the dogs are. And no, most humans do not revere magic, they fear it."_

I nodded to myself thoughtfully as she answered. I wondered if "senior" meant the same thing as "elder" did among the Dalish. Humans were afraid of magic? This struck me as odd, among the Dalish those who could work magic were seen as talented. Some could heal, others call the animals as I could, some could summon the elements. As far as I knew, magic was natural.

"_I am Sahira, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not so sure about impressing Duncan, I was out cold when we first met. What is the Fade? Is that like the Beyond where dreams are found? Will you fight beside the King tomorrow?"_

I am not sure why but I felt incredibly at ease among this woman, an aura surrounded her with unseen warmth and there was comfort in her serene gaze. The timbre of her voice betrayed her wisdom, which I was curious to learn more of.

"_My, but you are an inquisitive young woman. An inquisitive woman who looks pale and in need of some shade. Come sit and we shall have a talk. I can't imagine it has been easy for you here, has it?"_

I gladly took the opportunity to settle in the shade and shrug off the large bow and leather quiver from my back. Thankfully Wynne's modest tent was downwind from the dog kennels and nestled in the shade of a small tree. One of exactly three trees total that I had seen so far within the fortress. I had not realized exactly how fatigued I truly felt until I settled upon the small patch of soft grass by the tent.

"_Ma serannas, Wynne. Er, I don't suppose you speak much Elven here do you? What I mean to say is thank you. All this is a bit new to me, and you have been very kind."_

The older woman crouched before me, the clarity of her blue eyes boring into mine with the intense scrutiny of a well skilled healer. She handed me a skin filled with cool herbal tea, easing her position to sit across from me.

"_How long have you been infected child? You are taking herbs to stave off the worst of the taint?"_

I all but spit my tea as she asked me in such a matter of fact manner. I nodded to her and blinked a few times, setting down the heavy skin to tug at a pouch at my waist. I handed her the pouch which contained the herbs I took thrice daily.

"_I am not completely sure exactly how long. Perhaps two weeks? Maybe a little less. I am not sure how long I slept after Duncan found me. I chew the herbs three times a day."_

She glanced over the dried plants in the small pouch with a practiced eye before handing them back to me.

"_The herbs will ease the pain, but it is not a permanent solution. Duncan is to initiate you all tomorrow eve I understand. I prepare the mixture for the ritual, it will cure you. Now before you start peppering me with questions I cannot answer, let me ease your mind and answer those I can. You, young lady are to relax and drink that tea, understood?"_

All I could do was nod obediently and smile wryly. She was so much like Ashalle, whom I missed so much my heart ached. Wynne eased that pain a bit as surely as her fortified herbal tea soothed my thirst and feverish brow. I stretched out my legs and freed my poor feet from their stifling leather prisons, listening to all this kind healer had to say.

"_Much better. Now, the Fade is where the spirits of living go to dream or die. It would take me weeks to explain the nuances of such a place, but suffice to say the darkspawn have a connection to it. No I will not be beside the king persay, I will play my part in this upcoming battle in a different manner. I am primarily a healer, if you had not guessed yet."_

For the first time since I had arrived in this strange place I felt cool and comforted. I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I listened to Wynne explain about the Tevinter invading a place called the Golden City and then the soft kiss of grass blades upon my cheek as the Beyond drew me into much needed peace.

_**((Wynne))**_

The Dalish woman Sahira finally slept with some peace. I wonder if she knows that she cries in her sleep, although silently. I can understand feeling out of place, knowing not a soul, being stared at like a freak of nature. I swept the cool cloth I had dampened in fresh water over her flushed cheeks, admiring the artistry of the tattoos so delicately drawn there. I had never seen a Dalish elf before today. This was no barbarian that lay in the shade, curled up like a babe. I found this young woman intelligent and courteous, not at all like the wild tales so often heard about those we don't know.

My fingers smoothed down stray strands of her dark hair as she slept. I would need to wake her soon, but it seemed such a crime to do so now. Poor thing was sicker than she probably realized. Duncan had best do that ritual of his tomorrow night at the latest, herbs would not hold at bay the poisonous blood that now mingled with her own.

I took some time to look upon her armor and weapons. Her bow and quiver were beautifully crafted and obviously personal judging by the unique, tribal designs on the smooth wood and softly tanned leather. She must be some sort of hunter, there were a few simply made traps attached to her pack, and I could catch a slight scent of natural poison coming from her quiver. Her armor, or lack there of, concerned me. She was practically half naked, her legs completely bare and what I supposed was a tunic left her midriff and back exposed. Granted it was all intricately worked, the fingerless gloves matching the other pieces but she had no protection, no splint mail to ward off a sword blow or a whizzing arrow. Her disdain for boots had been obvious, and I had to chuckle to recall the look of pure pleasure she wore to have them off her feet.

Ah, what did I know anyway, I was no Dalish huntress. Her clothing was terribly stained and had to be uncomfortable even if it was scanty. The Circle of Magi had more gear than we could possibly use, surely there was something that would fit properly. That was that then, I would find the young lady something fresh to wear and make some cool sun tea to take with her. I hope I have a chance to speak with her after the battle, I think it would be quite something to know this woman.

_**((Sahira))**_

"_Find Alistair, send recruits to Duncan...new armor or something... ummmm... later...Oh crap!"_

How long had I slept? I jerked awake, tossing back my hair, the fingers of my right hand curling into a fist to wipe away the crusty traces of sleep that lingered at the corners of my eyes. Cool, scented cloths fell away from my limbs as I sat up, trying to get my bearings. While I felt a world better, I had stuff to accomplish and the nice mage lady was nowhere to be found. Wynne, yes her name was Wynne.

There was a bundle of clothing neatly folded to my left and a filled water skin of some sort. I hoped it was more of that tea. I would swear by the Creators it had healing properties. Maybe Wynne was in her tent.

"_Wynne? Are you there?"_

There was no answer. It was silly to think so, after all she was Hahren ,well something like that among the human magic casters. She was probably engaged with something important. I glanced at the neatly folded pile of clothing again and noticed a scrap of paper tucked within. My fingers easily pulled it free.

"_Sahira,_

_I am so glad you were able to rest a bit dear, you sorely needed it. Take the clothing as a gift and leave those nasty sweat stained leathers here. The boys in your camp will only steal them. Your clothing will be repaired and clean in the morning. I am not an early riser so just take them off the line. Drink the sun tea with your herbs, it will help greatly with the pain management. If we do not speak before the battle, fight with your heart and may the Maker and your Gods watch over you._

_~Wynne"_

I ducked into the diminutive tent and quickly stripped off the stinky, sweaty leathers that were long overdue a proper washing. I need to find a place to bathe as soon as possible, perhaps after my duties were done. The soft wool leggings I smoothed over my thighs were a rich brown of the earth, the light leather armor a deep forest green, the golden embellishments feminine as they swept over my contours. I can't say I liked the boots terribly much, but until I could place my bare feet upon soft grass again, I suppose they were comfortable as the soles were nice and thin. The leather skirt came to my upper thighs, that was good I could still move freely. I had never worn wool before, I rather liked the softness of it. I buckled on my bracers and wriggled a bit to allow the new armor to settle upon my body as my fingers flexed and released.

Not bad. I grinned to the blurry reflection in a mirror mounted on a wall of the small tent. Smoothing my hair I thought of what to leave in gratitude for such fine gifts. I supposed the stained green leather did bring out my eyes. Laughing softly, I pulled a pouch from my waist, a small offering of herbs specific to my forest. Blowing on the mirror hard, my fingertip traced out a simple statement.

"_Ma serannas, lethallan."_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17**_

_**((Sahira))**_

While I was feeling worlds better after a short rest, and the rejuvenating power of Wynne's tea, I bristled a bit as I drew near the dog kennels. A tall and well muscled human man was berating an elf, rather harshly I thought even if he was there in a servant capacity. I would never understand why the elves here tolerated such repression. The shemlen had painted his face which struck me as odd. Did they paint their faces to honor their Maker god? Some of the dogs in the kennels were painted in a similar fashion. I frowned to see the elven man dart off like his trousers were on fire. Had he no pride at all?

I strolled up to the oddly painted shemlen man with my head held high, meeting his gaze fearlessly. He smirked and snorted at me, rolling his eyes skyward.

"_Another elf? Maker's breath, what does Loghain want this time? Are you here to relay yet another set of scouting instructions, knife ears?"_

Knife ears. How many times had I heard that phrase in a single afternoon? My patience was truly wearing thin. I had promised Duncan I would try to adapt as best I could, so I sucked it up and smiled, my gaze never wavering.

"_Do you speak to everyone like that shem? Or am I especially blessed this day? I have come with no orders from whomever this Loghain person is, I was merely curious about the paint you and your dogs wear. You do not look like the rest of the King's soldiers."_

The shemlen was more than happy to recount the tale of how his order, the Ash Warriors had come to be. Something about a warrior fighting style taught by the dur'genlen and then passed to the Klayne tribes. I had to bite my tongue as this man was obviously not aware that the Dalish had massacred the Klayne, in fact I was descended from the clan of elves that marshaled that ambush. His demeanor had grown a bit less gruff as he further explained that his group and their dogs were painted in kaddis. He was happy to tell me how it was made and even handed me a small pouch of the powered clay-like substance. I had an idea for the kaddis. I thanked him for sharing his knowledge and went to further investigate the pens.

"_Uh, miss? You are the new Grey Warden yes? Do you think you could give me a hand here?"_

I glanced over my shoulder to see an Ash Warrior beckon to me. At least he had not called me "knife ears" or "elf". He had the look of a man who had not slept in a week, dark bags circling his eyes. Several small harnesses were draped over his shoulder, certainly far too small for the dogs in his charge to use in a pulling capacity.

"_My name is Sahira, what can I do for you?"_

"_Well met lass. I am Roland, the kennel master here. This hound is deathly ill and I was wondering if you might muzzle him for me so I can treat him. It would be a crying shame to put down such a promising member of the breed."_

"_I would be happy to help but surely there is no need to harness his jaws. He is a mabari yes? If he is as intelligent as the Ash Warrior leader says he will need no such thing. What is making him so ill?"_

"_Darkspawn blood. Poor fellow swallowed a bellyful in the last skirmish when his owner died. You may have no need of a muzzle for him, but I have no desire to be bitten."_

"_Ah, I understand. I would be happy to help, just give me a moment."_

Of course the shem could not treat the dog without a muzzle, humans did not communicate with beasts as elves did. Perhaps if I had the time later I could teach this man to treat the dogs without using such cruel contraptions. I shoved the muzzle into my belt and opened the latch to the dog's pen. Crouching down in the soiled straw I was met by the saddest pair of brown eyes I had ever seen. This beast had all but given up hope of living and pined for his lost master. His gaze seemed to beg for death as I extended my hand to let the mabari catch my scent.

"_It's alright dog, you are not going to die. Will you let me help?"_

I whispered in soothing tones as I had often done with the halla and the wolf that was so often my hunting companion. The stricken animal allowed me to approach closer until I was sitting cross legged in the reeking wet straw. If this animal was to live he needed out of the stench and disease harbored here. The mabari placed his head atop my wool covered thigh and my hands cupped his massive head on either side, calming the beast.

"_That's it, just be calm and still. I know you are very sad and the blood from the monsters hurt. Will you trust me to place the leather around your mouth? It won't be comfortable but the human is afraid of your teeth. He has the medicine to make the pain go away and make you well."_

I heard a sharp intake of breath and a murmur of "Maker's breath!" behind me and "Is she really talking to a dog like a person?" I continued to soothe the mabari as I looked back over my shoulder to hush the kennel master and whoever had joined him to watch. Silly shems. Always they think they are superior to everything else. I would wager this sick hound was twice as intelligent as most of the humans I had met here so far. The dog whined plaintively but did not resist as I slipped the muzzle about his jaws. Poor thing, he was grievously injured, I hoped the human could truly help him. Before I rose to step out of the pen I murmured quietly into the dog's ear.

"_When I get the chance I am busting you out of this stinking jail lethellan. You need fresh air to heal."_

I noted a weak wriggle to the animal's short, stubby tail and smiled as I brushed straw from my leggings and exited the pen.

"_What are you staring at? Gah! Nevermind. His straw needs changing and I suggest getting him out in the fresh air immediately after you treat him. Why do you imprison those who fight beside you anyway?"_

"_Thank you my lady, I was quite entranced to watch the way you handled the dog with such ease. I have never seen anything like it. Now I can treat the poor fellow properly."_

I sighed deeply and waved my hand dismissively. There was no need for thanks, I was more than happy to ease the pain of a selfless warrior. Pity these shemlen did not view their dogs as such.

"_How long until there is an improvement? If you do not mind, I would check on him myself."_

Roland was preparing a medicinal drought for the dog to swallow, the weight of the world seemingly on his shoulders.

"_Sahira, I am not sure. I am the only one to care for all these hounds. I am just one man doing his best. I happen to agree lass, all these dogs need the fresh air, yet the King appoints me no help. Have you the time, I would learn how you were able to calm the dog without using a muzzle."_

"_Sahira? Ah yes, the third recruit. Well, well, you **certainly** are not what was expected."_

I jerked my head around to see who had spoken in such a cocksure voice. Amused blue eyes met my gaze and I pulled my hands to fist to my hips. My patience for shemlen bullshit was wearing ever thinner.

"_Yes I am Sahira, and what the hell is that suppose to mean?"_

"_Me and Ser Knight just wagered that the third recruit would not be a woman nor a wild forest elf. Is it true what they say?"_

My right hand snapped out to catch the man's wrist as he attempted to relieve me of a pouch at my waist, not that he would know what to do with the herbs he attempted to steal. I glared as I tilted my flushed face up to meet his gaze with enraged eyes, my fingers tightening around his wrist, the tips pressing into painful pressure points until he winced in pain.

"_And what do "they" say shem? That we "wild" elves take our sport making leather out of your sorry hides? Or that we have eyes in the back of our heads?"_

Roland started laughing, slapping his thigh as he watched the other man squirm in my vice grip.

"_Okay, alright I give up! Is that better? Never mind what they say, I have no desire to incur your wrath further my **lady**. Maker's breath you have strong fingers. Before I lose all feeling in my arm let me start again. My name is Daveth, I too am one of Duncan's recruits. You don't really make leather out of men do you?"_

Daveth stammered a bit and I gave his wrist a final twist while smiling sweetly into his eyes, just enough to hurt but not truly injure him. I noted that he too was an archer, and he would need his wrists and fingers. I closed the distance between us as his eyes grew all the wider, using his fear to my advantage. I dropped my voice to a low, husky whisper as I bumped noses with the man, a solitary finger slowly tracing along his right cheek as my free hand deftly unraveled a knot at his belt.

"_That's much better, Daveth. Now how about you forget all the silly tales you have heard of "wild forest elves" and we speak of things far more constructive, seeing you have been here longer than I have. A **dashing** rogue such as yourself must know plenty, yes?"_

Daveth hastily licked his lips to moisten them and nodded vigorously as he took a step back. I had to bite back the laugh that rose in my throat as I smelled his arousal, watching the lust burn within his pale blue eyes. These shemlen men were far too predictable. He was easy on the eye, I would give him that, but far too cocky for his own good.

"_Yes of course my lady..."_

"_Sahira. I am no lady of one of your noble courts. I am a hunter, like you. No different. I will be treated as such."_

Daveth blushed, lending a reddish hue to his cheeks. He nodded to me while not entirely able to meet my eyes. It was just as well.

"_Sahira then. I was sneaking around the Grey Warden camp last night and heard we might be venturing into the Wilds sometime soon. Something to do with that ritual Duncan has planned. I don't know exactly what, but it's all too secretive I say. Makes my nose twitch. I grew up just outside the Wilds you see, raised on the stories of barbarians, cannibals, witches.."_

I had to laugh. The forest was always a dangerous place but I had never heard of cannibals save the darkspawn that plagued my own neck of the woods. I was just as much a barbarian to these shemlen as any other tribe of people determined to live away from the monarchy. As for witches I had heard one legend, often spoken more to frighten children yet there may be some truth to it.

"_You are going into the Wilds then? There is a flower I could use, it's white with a blood red center. It grows near stagnant pools of water and dead fall. I could heal our four legged friend and maybe see if he could be imprinted on you, lass."_

I turned to Roland and smiled gently.

"_Tell you what, I procure these pale blooms for you, and you allow me some time to let that poor dog breathe the fresh air. I know something of imprinting. I will see if I can get you some help with the hounds. As for you Daveth..."_

The rogue's full attention was captured as I dangled his coin purse in front of his hawkish nose.

"_I'll watch your back if you'll watch mine."_

Daveth grinned, taking the pouch with a dramatic bow. He was sure he had just fallen in love.

_**((Sahira))**_

Cailan had mentioned wanting to know more about the Dalish, and I thought on the kenneled dogs as I approached his tent. Surely this king would have a few extra bodies not involved in the coming battle, that would be able to assist Roland in some capacity. I was informed by a rather pleasant man that the king was drinking in the main Warden camp. As someone so close to the King I thought it odd that he was so free with personal information about his marital strife. He was however, agreeable to leave a message for Cailan that I wished to speak with him. Since I was in the vicinity, I spent some time speaking with the General's guard, who was not at all as pleasant as the King's. After being admonished for not holding the knowledge of this man's great deeds in the war against Orlais, he finally agreed to allow me a brief audience. These shemlen seem to forget that my people did not particularly care about their wars or anything else of their strange culture. We concerned ourselves with where they set up their villages and cities and how best to avoid them at all costs.

The man who drew back the colorful tent flaps was of an imposing height, his pock marked and battle scarred armor was impressive and meticulously polished. The dark circles that rimmed his gray eyes were deep, as if he had not slept in years. He was not rude as I had expected from Duncan's brief warning, but precise and to the point as we chatted about the coming battle. Something haunted his eyes as he spoke of his son in law, and I could only hope to imagine what sort of weight of expectation burdened his shoulders. Loghain was a far cry more practical about warfare than the King, and I left with the feeling this man was most capable of directing this army to victory.

I grit my teeth against the catcalls and slanderous comments tossed my way as I crossed the camp, drawing a long cool swig of sun tea. I still needed to find the quarter master and hoped I could replenish my supply of arrows. My skin was beginning to itch beneath the woolen leggings and I began to miss my leathers something fierce.

"_You there. Elf! Where's my damn armor and why are you dressed so preposterously? If I don't get that armor immediately I will welt your sorry arse with my whip. You hear me you knife eared whore?"_

Time stood still as I froze in place and turned my head to see who had dared to speak in such a manner. At first I had not thought the cruel words were directed at me. Seeing no other elves about, and catching an indignant glare from the fat shem, I knew without a doubt he was speaking to me. Rage coursed through my veins like wildfire and I was no longer thinking clearly. No, I was not thinking at all. I was nothing but the hastened blur of movement to leap behind his engorged carcass of a body, my dagger a whispered hiss as it traveled from it's sheath at my hip, to his quivering thick neck. The long curved blade glinted in the afternoon sunlight as I trailed it's razor sharp edge just deep enough to leave a bloody and painful line beneath his now quivering chin. The scent of his tears was sweet to my senses , my violent, feral growl assaulting his ear.

"_Knife eared whore is it? Perhaps I should take my blade and carve your ears to look like mine. Would you like that? Maybe let the other elves have a go at you with that whip?"_

"_Unhand that man immediately elf! Right now I say!"_

I flicked my glance upwards but it was too late, a balding, barrel chested male shemlen charged into me, grabbing me viciously by the hair with his attempt to free me from the other man, who now distinctly smelled of urine. One strong arm wrapped around me to pin my arms to my sides, my dagger clattering to the stones below.

"_Get off me you son of a..."_

"_Jory, what the hell are you doing? Let her go!"_

"_She is trying to kill the quartermaster, Alistair! Damned elf should be strung up!"_

I desperately kicked at the oaf who was holding me and howled a string of Dalish curses that would make a demon blush. Unfortunately the man was simply too big and his bulk was working against me.

"_That damned elf is the third recruit you idiot! Now let her go and we can all calm down and discuss this civilly."_

Thankfully the "idiot" released me, and I glared at him with all the hate I could muster while rubbing my arms, which were certain to be bruised. The blond shem called Alistair handed me my dagger and I mustered a nod to him as I re-sheathed my weapon at my hip. I was aching and sweating, my skin feeling clammy. Reaching for my skin of sun tea I took a long swallow as I tried to regain my bearings.

"_Now what exactly happened?" _Alistair asked as he guided me away a few paces.

"_That crazy knife eared bitch threatened to carve my ears!" _The quartermaster hollered, pointing one chubby finger at me.

"_I was not asking you, I was asking her. And she is not a knife eared bitch, she is a Grey Warden recruit and deserves the same respect as anyone else." _Alistair rose a pale, golden brow as he glared at the man.

"_But, but she's an elf and elves aren't allowed in the army!" _Jory chimed in, only to earn himself a withering glare from both myself and Alistair.

"_King Cailan and General Loghain certainly didn't seem to have an issue with my ears when I spoke to them, why the hell should you? Did you win some sort of raffle to join the Wardens? It wasn't your bright wit that got you in, that is for sure." _I snapped back at Jory, the muscles through my body tensing, readying for a fight. This time I would not let the tall bastard pin me.

"_I happen to be a knight! In the proud service of Redcliffe..." _Jory indignantly yelled back.

"_ENOUGH! By the Maker, if the darkspawn died from migraines, you two would be best on the front lines. Now, back to what I was originally asking. What happened?" _Alistair threw his hands in the air at first, completely exasperated. His voice took a gentler tone as he turned back to me.

"_I came here to look for supplies and gear at the suggestion of Duncan. **That** man called me a knife eared **whore **and threatened to **beat** me with a whip if I did not **fetch **his armor. I know I am supposed to play nice with all you humans, keep the peace and all but I will not tolerate being treated worse than you treat your dogs. Do not even get me started on **that**! I have had more than a bellyful of being called names because I am not human. I snapped. But I will not say I am sorry for my actions."_

I did not mention that I would slit that fat bastard's throat in a minute should the situation arise again. I would. I am Dalish and we do not submit. My jaw clenched and I lifted my chin proudly. I might very well be strung up by the neck when all of this was over, but I would _never_ compromise my values and who I am. Alistair glared at both Jory and the wide eyed quartermaster.

"_Apologize, the both of you. Now!"_

Jory and the quartermaster both stammered through rather weak apologies in my opinion. I would have preferred them both on their knees kissing my boots but I supposed the huge stain in the front of the quartermaster's trousers was justice enough for now. I nodded curtly and turned back to Alistair, offering him a small smile of thanks.

"_Now, show her your wares, and I mean all of them."_

I perused what the man had as far as armor and weapons, not particularly impressed. Even his herbal recipes were something a Dalish elf learned by age six. Jory had stormed off back in the direction of Duncan's campfire and I felt a bit of relief. What an uppity and ignorant man, even for a shemlen. It had to be a raffle, I could not see Duncan actually recruiting such an idiot.

"_I need nothing, thank you." _

I turned away from the pale quartermaster, his wares so far inferior to what I was accustomed to. I did suggest a rather garish horned helm for Jory to protect his head, since he saw no need to put it to any good use.

"_Do you wish to say anything else to the quartermaster?" _Alistair queried softly, probably hoping for an apology.

"_Yes, I do at that. The front of your pants are soiled."_


End file.
